The Reality of Rosy Expectations

The Reality of Rosy Expectations

It’s Day 11 of being back to blogging, and a driving experience reminded me of the sometimes harsh reality of rosy expectations. Driving home from work, though I was in a bit of a rush to get home so I could change into Zumba attire for tonight’s class and try to get on top of preparation for tomorrow, I noticed a woman in a jeep waiting to turn out of a parking lot. Given the steady stream of traffic, I knew it may be a long time before she’d be able to make a right. Rather than speeding up and blocking her, I tapped the brakes and motioned for her to pull in front of me. The woman looked right at me and took advantage of the opportunity I provided without so much as a wave, let alone a horn honk. Not only that, she actually wore a bit of a frown. Translated audibly, it may have  been a grunt… I admit her response gave me a dose of reality regarding my rosy expectations.

What Can You Expect from a Pig.jpg
Rosy Expectations.

For a moment, I thought, Wow. You’re welcome. Then I realized the truth of the situation: I’d projected how I would have responded onto this woman and expected her to act likewise. Which wasn’t fair…Thankfully I got over myself very quickly, shook my head and just laughed. Now I think it’s humorous that in looking for an image to reflect my blog topic, I found this pretty pink piggy with a flower in her mouth! In no way am I calling the woman a pig; the saying just seemed to fit the scenario. That said, perhaps the woman is one of those entitled people who just take someone giving them a chance to turn when she could have been stuck there quite a while for granted…

Either way, the takeaway for us Pink Collar Savvy & Chic Swans on the home front or in the workplace is what I tell the residents in the women’s shelter where I’m the director. There’s no need to be concerned with the other driver, what she did or didn’t do or the reasons behind her behavior. All that’s necessary is doing and focusing on what we should or shouldn’t do and what motivates us to make those choices. When we do that, it’s easy to feel good about doing the right, considerate thing and putting someone else’s needs before our own to bless them. Whether that’s acknowledged or even recognized. The ultimate motivation? The One who never disappoints. He exceeds the highest standard each and every time and provides the only true reality regarding rosy expectations.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

A Day of Dealing with The Ds (Discrimination, depression, etc., etc.)

A Day of Dealing with The Ds (Discrimination, depression, etc., etc.)

Day 147 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project was one where my Ds showed up in droves. For those new to my blog or who haven’t read about them yet, I’ve categorized many of the challenges women deal with as Ds: debt, dependency, depression, diagnoses, disabilities, discrimination, divorce, domestic relations court issues, dysfunctional relationships, etc., etc., etc. You get the drift….And even though I’m defining my unique business niche – coaching professional women facing personal barriers to minimize them in order to maximize their beauty and best professional life, today was a day where I needed a bit of coaching myself!

In yesterday’s post I alluded to something I had to face today that caused me to be somewhat fearful. I won’t get into the details, but I’m in a few situations where the truth has become a stranger and the relationships have become toxic. Prior to my divorce from my wasband, D.J. (I always say he’s the worst of my Ds), this wouldn’t have presented a dilemma for me because I would have done whatever was necessary, including negating who I am, to reconcile the relationships. Post divorce? Well, I just refuse to do that anymore.

A few months ago, I read a book by Julie Cantrell, a Christian author, called Into the Free.  The heroine, who was from a background similar to mine, resonated with me. Her grandmother was a Choctaw Indian and explained how a baby is named at birth and that is their given name. As they grow up and their personality develops, they are given a nickname that represents that. But it’s when a person discovers who God created them to be that they have their spirit name. The whole time I was reading, I thought the character, who’d grown up surrounded by lies, was actually Truth. And I wept when that did end up being not only her name but the name I felt the Holy Spirit whisper across my own heart.

That’s my dilemma. I know I’m Truth. Not a perfect woman, wife, mother, employee or person. But as much as it lies within me, I’m a truthful one. So when people want me to own things that aren’t true, everything within me rebels. This doesn’t always set too well with folks! The establishment, employers, even loved ones. So what does one do when the truth has become a stranger and others want you to deny it?

IMG_0491
Pink  Collar Coach – Feeling a little down, but smiling through it. Calvin Klein cold shoulder top, skirt & strappy sandals.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Chick who’s had a full day of dealing with my Ds, I’m feeling a little down. I try to make my posts positive, but I want to avoid the danger of making my life sound idyllic. It’s not. I just have the Lord, loving family and friends. One of them took time out of her work day to pray for me – thank you for that! Besides, if it helps another woman, another swan out there who feels as if she’s alone in dealing with the dirt she’s been dished, then it’s worth it for me to wear my tattered heart on my sleeve. After all, if a problem shared is half solved, perhaps a D divested is half done…I hope so.

How do you handle situations where someone close to you, personally or professionally,  is blatantly untruthful?

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach