The Trouble with Triangulation x Three

The Trouble with Triangulation x Three

It’s Day 11 of being back to blogging and its recurring theme could have been “The Trouble with Triangulation x Three “. First, listening to my favorite Christian radio morning show hosts, Brandt and Sherry, on the commute in, Brandt asked her if she’d ever noticed two people arguing on social media and considered jumping in and telling them to stop having a go at each other. He went on to say that would break up the argument because they would both turn on her! Sherry laughed her infectious laugh and answered that she hadn’t intervened that way, however, she  shared how she’d private messaged them and suggested they deal with the situation 1:1 vs. publicly. The segment ended humorously, but the message about the trouble with triangulation is a serious one.

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Once at work, I encountered my second instance of triangulation when I spoke with someone who needed transportation. It was an unusually hectic day and while I didn’t mind taking the time to make the arrangements, it wasn’t time I had to spare. We agreed that they’d contact me when they were ready to be picked up. When I didn’t hear back from her, I learned that a third party had secured a ride for her! Neither she nor the woman I’d been trying to help thought to inform me that she no longer needed my assistance. This triangulation resulted in a waste of time and a breakdown in communication.

Finally, this evening I witnessed my fifteen-year-old daughter, Liv, get caught up in a triangulation web. One of her high school friends moved to another city but is still dating her boyfriend who’s in classes with my daughter. Apparently not only did  the guy cheat on her several times while she was here, now he manages to prevent her from even talking to any boys at her new school while he flirts with whoever he likes in front of my daughter. In her attempt to be a good friend, my daughter put her in the know. Now she’s caught in the middle of their long distance dating disaster. I cautioned her to try to stay out of it because if and when her bestie takes him back, she won’t want to hear a  word about his poor behavior, which will put a strain on their friendship. Triangulation collateral damage.

Knowing how God works in my life, the fact that God let me be a part of three different scenarios regarding triangulation means He’s trying to teach me something. Disputes, discussions, dating and so many other things are best handled 1:1. I’m going to try to put this principle into practice in my personal and professional life…And I hope you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic, do the same, and avoid the trouble with triangulation, too.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

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Pink Collar Coach’s Positivity Post – January 12, 2019

Pink Collar Coach’s Positivity Post – January 12, 2019

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Wishing on Wings

So blessed to be his daughter,

So proud to bear his name.

So thankful for his friendship

And love that never changed.

Been missing him for 18 years,

Longing for an eternity more.

Praying I’ll see my hero’s face

As I walk through heaven’s door.

Days spent wishing –– for that very thing,

Not a single one of them has passed

Without his wind beneath my wings.

I’ll love you forever Daddy,

~Pink Collar Coach 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

High School Sisters by Heart

High School Sisters by Heart

It’s Day 6 of being back to blogging and I’m still glowing from time spent with one of my BFFS –– we’re high school sisters by heart. In many ways, Josette saved me in the 10th grade. While in junior high I’d tested into a Walnut Hills, a college prep school , but unlike most who did, I didn’t start as a 7th grader, which meant all of the cliques had already been formed by the time I showed up as a freshman. Thirty-five years later, I can honestly say it was one of the worst periods of my life. I was bullied for being a Peppermint Patty –– black on the outside and white on the inside –– and didn’t fit in with either group of kids. Add to that the fact that my junior high boyfriend AKA best friend dumped me for an upperclassman who rallied her friends to bully me too, and there were days when I felt I’d rather die than go another day. Only my faith, family and friends outside school got me through. Beautiful, funny, sweet Josette befriending me the following year remains one of the things for which I’m forever grateful. God knit us together in so many ways that we truly became high school sisters by heart.

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High School Sisters by Heart –– Josette and Me, Pink Collar Coach.                                           Josette has always had beautiful hair and it’s growing back in that way.                                      I’m in a floral bell sleeve top and black jeggins with shorties. All Calvin Klein from TJ Maxx. 

Thirty plus years later, though life has not afforded us very many opportunities to spend time hanging out, every interaction feels as though no time has passed. Our discussions no longer center around cute boys, Prince and challenges with our home lives. Now they’re about dealing with the Ds ( the challenges women face like divorce, diagnosis, etc.) but the level of comfort, ease and depth of connection remain the same. This was the case when I treated her to a 50th birthday dinner a few months ago. And the birthday was the best I’ve ever spent with her because she’s conquered a huge D as a one year survivor of stage 4 breast cancer and a double mastectomy. I have ALWAYS loved Josette. Now I absolutely treasure and look up to her more than ever.

The thought of losing my high school BFF has made me more intentional about not letting as much time pass between spending time with my Swan Soul Sister….Hopefully my sharing will inspire you to be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and do the same with your old friends. After all, you can always make new friends but you can’t make old ones like high school sisters by heart.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

 

Women’s Center Director Position Cause for Celebration

Women’s Center Director Position Cause for Celebration

It’s Day 4 of being back to blogging and my recent appointment to Women’s Center Director position was a cause for celebration. With a little over two months under my belt in the role, I’m just getting a chance to share how the two women who were instrumental in me landing it blessed me when. In 2017, I left my former job as a director at an agency where I oversaw the care continuum and led the team of life coaches. It was there that I met two Savvy & Chic Swans who I trained to become lead coaches. Leaving them behind when I moved on and began operating my own comprehensive coaching agency, Pink Collar Savvy & Chic, and publishing my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, I grieved no longer working with them. Little did I know God would use my transition to evolve our professional connection into a personal one. As they supported me in exploring my options, our relationship blossomed. New gig or not, that’s a reason for me to celebrate.

Now both women are dear friends and Soul Sisters. Few in my circle were as thrilled as them for me to be offered an opportunity that is an even better fit for me to live out my purpose of maximizing my strengths to coach, encourage and inspire other women to minimize their barriers and to maximize their best lives –– all to His glory! They took me out to lunch, showered me with cards, gifts, and so much love! This and being the Women’s Center Director at a homeless shelter that provides a holistic, faith based program are truly causes for celebration!

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Valerie, Julie and me, Pink Collar Coach celebrating my Women’s Center Director position. My sweater, jogging, shooties, and handbag all Calvin Klein from TJ Maxx.

Having such accomplished, beautiful, godly women in my life makes each time I’m with them a celebration. Having them share life’s good times –– and the bad ones –– well, that’s not only a reason to celebrate, it’s a reason to rejoice. I hope you are Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and rejoice in the special Swans and Soul Sisters God gives you on the home-pfront and in the workplace –– for all the reasons and seasons.

Be Savvy &  Chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

Not a Fair-weather but Forever Friend

Not a Fair-weather but Forever Friend

It’s Day 420 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and while I was too busy to blog about it yesterday, Friday night showed me how a dear Swan Sister, Valerie, is not a fair-weather but forever friend. I originally came to know Valerie through our professional relationship. I had the joy of training her to become one of the best life coaches I’d ever led, and she in turn became a trainer of other coaches. She’s as smart as they come and is passionate about connecting others to the information and resources they need to minimize their barriers and to maximize their best lives. Add to that the fact that she’s bookish like me –– but with a library science degree to boot ––– and she’s a girl after my own heart. Given the strong working connection we formed then, I’m thrilled that it didn’t cease when I left that director role…And now, as I’m dealing with some Ds of my own –– personal challenges that can negatively impact professional performance –– I’m so thankful she’s proven herself not to be a fair-weather friend, but a forever one.

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Me, Pink Collar Coach, with Valerie. She’s as smart and sweet as she is petite! I’m in a fave summer dress and gold metallic cardi – both several summers old, and metallic sandals with a bone colored bag. I had to laugh at myself –– my usual glasses on top of my head AND sunglasses! All Calvin Klein from TJ Maxx acquired over several years.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Swan, I won’t lie and say I enjoy facing Ds /challenges. But I did enjoy hearing from Valerie because of them. She took me to dinner and for three hours we caught up, laughed, reminisced and strategized. Though we hadn’t seen each other for over a year, it was like no time had passed at all…She’s also going to get a copy of my book, Seasons of Her Soul. Bonus! Leaving Buffalo Wild Wings –– one of my all time favorites ––– I felt full of good food and even more satisfied with the fact that our professional worlds may have brought us together initially, but it’s our faith that has made us true friends and sisters in Him. The time spent with Valerie made me feel lighter as though my burdens had been lifted. After all, though I was once her supervisor, the love she showed me on Friday assured me she’s not a fair-weather but my forever friend.

What about you? Are you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose about not just being there for friends –– personal and professional –– during the good times but the bad times, too? Who could you reach out to today to show your love and support?

If you’re like Valerie and would like to check out my book, please see below. Thanks!

To preview/purchase the print or Kindle version of my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, please visit Amazon.com at 

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

 

Birthday on a Budget

Birthday on a Budget

It’s Day 414 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and I’m pleased to have pulled off my daughter’s 15th birthday on a budget. I’ve not made it a secret that I’m dealing with some Ds –– personal challenges that can negatively impact professional performance –– and that means I’m keeping a close watch on my pocket book. The great thing is, what started out as a barrier –– limited resources –– turned into an opportunity for me to minimize the barrier and maximize beauty and my best life. Given the fact that she had a party and sleepover at her dad’s on the actual day and that I would be taking her and her brother to something she’d requested a while back –– an Escape Room –– I felt she’d be happy with a few little treats. That being the case, when a dear friend  gifted me with a Walgreen’s gift card and two Larosa’s (our hometown  pizzeria) gift cards at the end of our lunch date last week, I knew how I’d use them. The former purchased some girly gifts –– Maybelline’s Baby Lips (she loves them), pink nail polish (she’d been eyeing mine), and her favorite candy bars. The latter were used for yummy pizza, salad and sodas. And because I love themed gifts ala Rachel Ashwell, I also purchased a cupcake themed bag and card from the drug store. Then I shredded a coordinating color of copy paper to make “confetti” filler. Next, a trip to Barnes and Noble, where we’re members of the Kids Birthday Club yielded a huge complimentary confetti cupcake. Finally, though there were no Groupons available, I scored a $12 a person deal for “Escape from Alpha Station” at our local entertainment spot. With that and our waitresses’ tip, I was all in $40 –– talk about a birthday on a budget!

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A birthday bag filled with favorites. My total cost – $0!
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Me, Pink Collar Coach, as  part of The Three Musketeers.                                                                               Cotton cold should top and denim shorts – Calvin Klein – TJ Maxx.                                                                                                                                                 Can’t believe my baby girl’s 15! Her 13 year-old brother is taller than both of us!

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic  on Purpose shopper, I’m thrilled about being able to make the most of what I had. More than that, though, making the most of the time with my children was the best part of the day. Liv truly enjoyed her gifts and promptly applied not one but both lip shades. And as all three of us shared the cupcake she poured over her card and gave me a hug far sweeter than the pastry. The Escape Room (www.funattheweb.com) was a blast. Levi displayed his high level of intelligence by deciphering one of the main clues, but alas, because we were in the room with lots of other people resulting in a bit of chaos, we didn’t escape. Still, seeing him and Liv work together so well did my mommy heart good. We shared pizza, so much laughter, and explored some ideas about the future while taking a walk. By the time the night ended, I knew though the birthday was on a budget, it was one of the best.

Are you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose about planning birthdays or other special events on a budget. At home? The office? You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a large return on investment.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

Mentor, Marina, Made My Day

Mentor, Marina, Made My Day

It’s Day 383 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and my Zumba mentor, Marina, made my day! First of all, when I chickened out of leading a song today because her versions were different than mine, not only did she not make me feel bad, she switched up her playlist to remove the song and replace it with two I’m comfortable with. Second, she surprised me by somehow knowing my birthday is tomorrow –– FB? –– and giving me a card and much-appreciated hug after class. Normally I would have waited to open the latter until my actual Bday, but I’m dealing with some Ds –– personal challenges ––and needed a lift. To my delight, she gifted me with a TJ Maxx card! Woot woot! A little retail therapy is now on the agenda after church and teaching Zumba tomorrow…Finally, she showed up to class looking even more super cool and than usual in one of my favorites –– pink and green floral. I couldn’t resist snapping a pic and it put a smile on my face when I pulled out my phone to check the time after seeing The Incredibles 2 with my kiddos – it’s worth the fourteen year wait –– and again after I used it to get a shot of my daughter after we bought and applied her first make up. I hope she’ll grow up to be as pretty inside  as she is on the outside like my Zumba instructor friend. By taking time the to let me know she was thinking of me, my mentor Marina made my day!

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Marvelous Zumba Mentor, Marina!

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose blogger posting for the last time as a forty-eight-year-old, I’m so thankful for friends (and Cohorts in Crime of the Good Kind) like Kay Fittes of High Heeled Success, who mailed me a bday card last week. And for my sister-in-law, Sue who brought me an early birthday gift –– Calvin Klein athletic wear and a TJ Maxx gift card –– when she was in town from Atlanta for a wedding last weekend. I’m so blessed to have these women ––my Swan Soul Sisters –– in my support system, especially when dealing with the challenges life keeps throwing my way. They may not even be aware that I’m going through anything, but I’m aware that they’re there. They’re all gifts from God for which I am eternally grateful. Because just when the Ds threaten to bring me down, God sends one of them –– like my mentor, Mariana –– along to make my day.

Are you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose about acknowledging when someone makes your day on the home front or in the workplace? By telling them, you just may make theirs, too.