She Committed Self-Sabotage – Part 1 of 2

She Committed Self-Sabotage – Part 1 of 2

It’s Day 15 of being back to blogging and I’m sad to share a woman’s story of how she committed self-sabotage. Many of us who are in the social service field/ministry or any helping profession feel called to do the work because we long to make a difference in the lives of others. For me, doing so with women allows me to fulfill my purpose. I feel so blessed that I’m now in a position as a Women’s Center Director where I’m able to assist the ladies who reside in our shelter to achieve transformational change and sustainable success. Homelessness is often the main barrier that brings them to us, but usually they have ended up that way due to multiple barriers.  Finding housing for the residents and their children that is often a challenge. So when a single woman with a child and a myriad of physical, emotional, financial, and relational issues turns down an apartment because she’d prefer to wait  for something more to her liking, she’s committed self-sabotage.


Another instance of this is when a woman is offered an affordable studio option –– newly renovated and furnished –– with rent based on her limited income and physical barriers to employment, but she would rather go back to coach surfing while she tries to get a job that pays enough for the exorbitant rent on an upscale  apartment with amenities. Even when told she can sign a short term lease on the studio while she addresses her health issues and searches for a job, she’s adamant that it’s just not for her. She’s committed self-sabotage.

After doing all I can apart from literally begging these women to reconsider, I’m relegated to sitting on the sidelines as the scenarios play out. In the first instance, I’ve already seen that it’s not a pretty picture. In the other, I fear the outcome will be similar. Then I’m left to ask, Why? But I realize I may already know the answer, She fears success. And while I’m not a therapist, I do have one on our team, and she confirmed my suspicion. They fear success. 

Pondering this phenomena, it occurred to me that it’s not only the population of women we serve who struggle with the Ds or challenges women face (i.e. depression, diagnosis, domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, dysfunctional relationships, etc.) who are subject. Any woman, for any number of reasons, can fear rising to her full potential and may self-sabotage. ..

Rather than letting this discourage me, it’s motivated me to share a self-sabotage prevention strategy. I hope you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and come back tomorrow to read.

Be savvy & chic,

~ Pink Collar Coach

Women’s Center Director Position Cause for Celebration

Women’s Center Director Position Cause for Celebration

It’s Day 4 of being back to blogging and my recent appointment to Women’s Center Director position was a cause for celebration. With a little over two months under my belt in the role, I’m just getting a chance to share how the two women who were instrumental in me landing it blessed me when. In 2017, I left my former job as a director at an agency where I oversaw the care continuum and led the team of life coaches. It was there that I met two Savvy & Chic Swans who I trained to become lead coaches. Leaving them behind when I moved on and began operating my own comprehensive coaching agency, Pink Collar Savvy & Chic, and publishing my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, I grieved no longer working with them. Little did I know God would use my transition to evolve our professional connection into a personal one. As they supported me in exploring my options, our relationship blossomed. New gig or not, that’s a reason for me to celebrate.

Now both women are dear friends and Soul Sisters. Few in my circle were as thrilled as them for me to be offered an opportunity that is an even better fit for me to live out my purpose of maximizing my strengths to coach, encourage and inspire other women to minimize their barriers and to maximize their best lives –– all to His glory! They took me out to lunch, showered me with cards, gifts, and so much love! This and being the Women’s Center Director at a homeless shelter that provides a holistic, faith based program are truly causes for celebration!

Valerie, Julie and me, Pink Collar Coach celebrating my Women’s Center Director position. My sweater, jogging, shooties, and handbag all Calvin Klein from TJ Maxx.

Having such accomplished, beautiful, godly women in my life makes each time I’m with them a celebration. Having them share life’s good times –– and the bad ones –– well, that’s not only a reason to celebrate, it’s a reason to rejoice. I hope you are Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and rejoice in the special Swans and Soul Sisters God gives you on the home-pfront and in the workplace –– for all the reasons and seasons.

Be Savvy &  Chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

How the Ds Derail Talent and Cause Professional Train Wrecks (Pt. 1)

How the Ds Derail Talent and Cause Professional Train Wrecks (Pt. 1)

It’s Day 317 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and I’m sharing “How the Ds (personal and professional challenges that negatively impact work performance) Derail Talent and Cause Professional Train Wrecks. I’m doing so in preparation for speaking at  at DisruptHR Cincinnati this week. To learn more about it, please click on the link > cincinnati. The actual title of my presentation is “HR Superheroes to the Rescue! – Don’t Let the Ds Derail Your Talent! – Keep Them on Track”,  but I’m sharing half of the scenarios (only 15 seconds to speak on the content/correlating slide) here in hopes of getting feedback. I’ll share the other half and what can done to prevent the Ds from derailing in tomorrow’s post. Thanks!

The Ds Derail Careers! 

Grabber: Don’t let the Ds – the personal and/or professional challenges that negatively impact workplace performance – derail your talent! Instead, be an HR Superhero and keep them on track! Given your roles, I suspect you’re familiar with the Ds. But let me share some of the train wrecks I’ve witnessed because of them. Details have been changed to protect the victims – and the perpetrators.

Death – A mid level leader and single mom whose brother had terminal cancer. She’d been expecting his death for months. What she didn’t expect was to bury her brother only to have her healthy mother fall ill a few months later. She experienced two deaths in as many months and got buried under her workload after burying two of the people  closest to her.

Debt – An administrative assistant who returned to the workforce to supplement her husband’s income. When he lost his job and she became the sole bread winner, they felt into debt so harmful to their family it required intensive care through a financial freedom training program to resuscitate her finances. Her job couldn’t be saved.

Delinquent Teens – An education specialist just started a promising new position when her teenager was arrested for assault. She had to take off time she didn’t have to attend the arraignment, subsequent meetings at the juvenile detention center and family counseling. Stress caused her to make a serious mistake that resulted in her being fired on the spot.

Depression – A nurse who experienced severe postpartum depression following the birth of her first child. Eventually she had a breakdown, was placed on the psychiatric ward, and on heavy anti-depressants to return to work. Her career suffered as much from the stigma about her depression as she did from the episode itself.

Diet & Fitness – A nutrition specialist at a prominent pediatric hospital was dangerously overweight herself. Teenage patients often commented on it and parents complained to her supervisor about her ability to advise them around best practices when they felt there was a disconnect between her suggestions and her own diet and fitness practices.

Differing Abilities – A data analyst for a health test results company whose childhood meningitis rendered her 80% deaf in one ear and 40% in the other. Though a proficient lip reader, team members consistently turned away from her when discussing tasks and then reported her for not completing them in a timely manner, which was reflected in her performance reviews.

Disasters – An event planner and single mom in transition out of poverty had landed her dream job and was steadily building her client list. But when a plumbing issue caused sewage to flood her home, the threat of children’s services getting involved and the cost of the repairs prevented her from being fully present at work and nearly took her under.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Life Coach whose seen all of the above and experienced  much of it myself and as a Speaker who wants to deliver great content for the 200 attendees.

I hope you’ll  be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and weigh in. Did this intro grab your attention? Are these short scenarios compelling? Have you or anyone you know experienced any of these Ds? Did they derail you? Anything else? Thanks!

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach