Pink Collar Mom – Made of More Than Many Made Her Out to Be

Pink Collar Mom – Made of More Than Many Made Her Out to Be

It’s Day 267 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and I’m delighted to learn about a Pink Collar Mom who’s made of more than many made her out to be. On Halloween I blogged about the tragic death of our handyman, Mark, who hadn’t reached thirty. He was killed working at a landscaping company when the industrial mower he’d been using to cut grass near a pond flipped over and pinned him underwater. Raised in poverty, Mark had a rough life. Still, he was one of the hardest workers I’ve ever known. And from what my husband tells me, never more so than when he learned he was to be a father. Excitedly expecting his little girl in January, Mark made it clear his child would have it better than he had. But with his death, it seemed mother and baby would have a rough go ahead. My husband, who’d become a mentor to Mark, was devastated by the loss and naturally expressed concern for the baby’s mother. We all wondered how she would manage. This afternoon my hubby paid them a visit and it appears this Pink Collar mom is made of more than many made her out to be.

Mark’s beautiful baby girl. A Cygnet.

Since I was working on the map for the sequel to Seasons of Her Soul  – Hold On Her Heart – and was in my zone, I declined my hubby’s invite to accompany him. Even so, I was anxious to hear how the visit went and feared I’d get a gloomy report when he called on the way home. Seldom is my husband effusive but he told me, “People say all babies are beautiful. I don’t think they are. But this baby is beautiful.” We went on to discuss how mom is doing and I was elated to hear in addition to receiving a death benefit, she’s working as a veterinary assistant. She loves animals so kudos to her for operating in her strengths zone! Greg even got some advice on how to handle one of our Ds – two delinquent kitties! In addition to doing well in the workplace, she’s also a good homemaker and has created a clean, comfortable environment. Mother, baby, and their three kitties appeared to be happy and in good health. Not a gloomy report at all!

When Greg walked in  the door I demanded to see Rory’s picture and he said it for me,                  “She sure is a cutie.” I concur. 

Though no tears were shed hearing the above, I did tear up when Greg told me: “She said she came home one day to find Mark painting in the baby’s room. There were names all over the wall. Mark said ‘Rory’ was the one he liked best, so that’s the one she picked.” That and the fact that I would have named a daughter with Greg the same thing (I did name a cat that) was enough to choke me up, but when I consider how Mark had come to view my husband as more than a mentor – he saw him as a father – it isn’t lost on me that he chose a derivative of “Gregory” as his daughter’s name. There’s no way to know for sure this side of heaven if that was his intention; I do know for sure Mark would have loved that it turned out that way… but not near as much as he would have loved her.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose mom, I’m so proud of Rory’s. She’s dealt with one of the biggest Ds – death, buried her baby’s father, birthed his child, is working hard in the workplace and on the home-front, and has honored the man she loved. It doesn’t get much more Pink Collar Savvy & Chic than that, proving she’s made of a Whole. Lot. More. than many made her out to be.

How can you be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and let a young mom know she’s more than many make her out to be?

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Savvy

A Mom on Memes and Messes

A Mom on Memes and Messes

It’s Day 186 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and as a mom, I’d love to just post a meme instead of talking about the messes in my life. I confess I’d never heard the word meme until a Christian DJ mentioned it on the radio. With my love of words, of course I looked it up. According to Wikipedia “A meme (/ˈmm/ MEEM) is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture — often with the aim of conveying a particular phenomenon, theme, or meaning represented by the meme.” The DJ referenced the popularity of images with a person standing on a mountaintop, arms outstretched high to depict the Christian life. He intimated this meme conveys if you have faith your life will always be a perfect mountaintop experience. As a faith-filled mom who is divorced from my children’s father, being a mother doesn’t doesn’t always look like the meme or feel like mountaintop. Much of the time, it’s more like a mess. 

But I feel it’s taboo to admit that. I agree with the DJ’s assessment of that mountaintop meme. It makes people of faith feel we have to always sound, look and even feel like we’re standing on top of the world. We don’t want to talk about the valleys. It got me thinking about social media. Most of the images we post on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn are the picturesque ones. Those that look like we have our personal and professional lives all together. We post the memes. And for bloggers? We often post the best pictures of our children, clothes, events and homes. Not for the first time, I wonder how this makes others feel. When I rush around picking up books, papers, toys, and take several shots to make sure my hair, makeup and outfit are just right, am I sending out the message that my life is perfect? That I’m living the meme?

That’s the last thing I want to do. The whole reason I started my blog was to coach, encourage and inspire women to live their best personal and professional lives. Over time, that has evolved to include dealing with the Ds – the Pink Collar challenges women face, be it on the home front or in the workplace – and minimizing them to maximize your beauty and best life. I never intended for minimizing to promote depicting a pretty, perfect meme. Living your best life doesn’t mean it won’t be messy. Like my life as a mom is right now.

Me, Pink Collar Coach after a hard mommy conversation. For once I didn’t straighten up the room and just asked my sweet hubby to catch the moment as it was. Messy bun, rumpled slipcover, toys under the table, electric chords, and all.                                                                 Calvin Klein trumpet sleeve sweater, leggings, socks with boots, and handbag. 

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Cygnet (I’m still growing into the fullness of who I was created to be), sometimes I long to live the meme… My Ds – divorce, domestic relations court, and DJ (not the disc jockey but my wasband) make my life as a mom so messy. I wish I could always stand on the mountaintop, looking pretty (pre-hysterectomy), with my house perfect (white painted stone wall, wood plank tiles, marble counter tops, etc.), my professional life on track for success, and my personal relationship with my children what I dreamed for us once upon a time…Then I remember. The Lord is the God of the hills and the valleys. He sees me  and is over my life. He remains the same when it looks like the meme and He still blesses when it’s a mess. I’ll take those messy times because it’s in them I can hear Him whisper across the surface of my heart, Beautiful the mess you are.

What about you? Do you wish you were living the meme but feel you’re more of a mess? Remember you are loved and if you hang in there, you can be blessed – even in the mess.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach