It’s Day 19 of being back to blogging, and personal and professional experiences in the social service field/ministry caused me to ponder abandoning adulting. Juggling my responsibilities as a women’s center director, a small business owner, a mom, a wife, a Zumba student, blogger and believer took all the energy I could muster! At times I just wanted to say, Enough! I’m done adulting for the day! And that’s before factoring in a crisis at work where the stressors of life caused a woman to literally abandon adulting.
As much as it’s tempting to judge someone else for reaching the point where they simply stop juggling all the responsibilities and just throw their hands up in the air, letting them fall where they may, I’m coming to understand how the Ds –– the personal and professional challenges women face –– can lead up to this (in this case, it’s a combination of depression, drugs and dysfunctional relationships). Perhaps we were designed with only two arms because we weren’t meant to juggle as much as we do…So rather than judging, I’m learning to support where I can. Because my own arms are too full with my own responsibilities to take on another’s, I lift them up in prayer, knowing God is the one who equips us for whatever He’s placed in our hands.
I don’t know what God makes of the term adulting, which has become popular in our culture –– often with parents. But I’m glad to know He’s our heavenly Father who never abandons His “adulting” with us, His children…
It’s Day 221 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and one of the best times I’ve had with my children in a long time reminded me that though umbilical cords are cut at birth, our heartstrings are tethered forever. From the time I woke up early this morning, the ravages of divorce were at the forefront of my mind. It’s not natural for a mom to be apart from her babies at Christmas, but alas, that’s where divorce has us…Before rushing out the door to spend time with them, rather than doing my daily devotional, I glanced at the dedication in a new book, Perennials, by a favorite Christian author, Julie Cantrell. It reads:
“For my children
and for all children
and for the child in all of us —
May you always know the truth: you are loved.”
Wow. I’m amazed by God. Even when I don’t slow down enough to take the time to read His Word, He still speaks to me and reveals exactly what I need in that moment. In his infinite wisdom and omniscience (the state of knowing everything), He had the author put those particular words to paper and then allowed me to see the page right when I needed them most. If I wasn’t already a believer and in love with God, this would have sealed the deal for me.
And I believe my children experienced the deep, abiding truth of my love for them today. We reminisced and relieved shared experiences that make it apparent how alike we are. We sang, and quoted lines from books, movies, and plays. We laughed so hard it hurt! Time flew by and all too soon it was time to say goodbye until the New Year. After hugging and kissing me, Levi turned and backed away, never breaking eye contact before he had to in order to go out the door. I sense, like me, he didn’t want the connection to end.
As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose mom, parenting children where divorce ( a major D or challenge), can rob and steal time, I wonder how my babies have both outgrown me. It seems like only yesterday when they operated to remove her after she’d reportedly died intra-uterine. Post surgery I learned she was alive but a miscarriage was supposedly imminent. Cameron Liv (her name was and still is my prayer for her) is doing just that fourteen years later. And Levi (if you rearrange the letters in his name, they spell “live” also) came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck three times. His mouth, fingers and toes were already blue. He not only lived but did everything fast in his efforts to keep up with his big sissy, hence my nickname for him: Dash. Whenever I say his name, I’m affirming him to live and make the most of the dash between the date when he entered the world and when he’ll leave it.
Thankfully the doctor finally got Levi’s umbilical cord unwrapped. And like he did with Liv’s, he cut it. But unlike my twelve-year-old son as he hesitated to turn away today, perhaps fearing the broken eye contact would cut off the connection, I fully know the truth that I’m loved by my heavenly Father and understand that NOTHING can separate me from it (Romans 8:31-39, NIV). Not broken contact, or a physical separation. I pray my children will one day fully understand this truth about our relationship too. Because even though the cord was cut all those years ago, the strings to our hearts are tethered together forever.
I hope you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose this Christmas and remember me and my children in your prayers and thoughts as we spend the holidays apart. Thank you!