Blessed by My BFF

Blessed by My BFF

It’s Day 59 (reset) of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and I can’t expressed how blessed I am by my high school BFF.

Serene at Home (Personal)

As I shared in yesterday’s post, ongoing Ds –– challenges women face –– this time in the form of dysfunctional relationships, threatened to throw me into a fit of depression. One of the ways I fought back was calling Josette, my Swan Soul Sister from another mister, for some much needed girl time to celebrate her upcoming birthday and three years cancer free after her double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. She’d texted that we needed to do lunch. My response –– Tomorrow? Before hanging up, however, she hesitated and then told me about an encounter with a hater of mine who tried to disparage me to her. Ever my champion, Josette graciously shut her down with a smile and sent her on her way frustrated because she got no traction with my high school bestie. Grateful as I felt for her having my back, last night I  felt wounded to be stabbed in it by someone who is supposed to be in my corner…Then today, I teared up when Josette apologized for upsetting me. I’m not upset, I assured her. Just blessed by you!

Sense of Style/Shop the Look (Personal Packaging)

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First day with somewhat fall-like weather in the 70s vs. recent record breaking 90s temps warranted breaking out brown handbag  & booties  paired w/floral top that reminds me of leaves turning, topped by a coral cardigan. All Calvin Klein from TJ Maxx. Maximize fall fashion! : )

Spirit – Led (Putting it Into Practice)

Little did this hater know, but by attempting to malign me, she made herself look so malicious! Rather than doing damage to my reputation, her true colors came shining through without me having to say a word against her. Thus proving God’s promise is true –– If we stay still, He’ll fight our battles (Exodus 14:14, NIV) –– or in my case, let our high school BFFs do it for us!

I pray you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose, like my Josette, the next time someone tries to drag you into gossip or rumors. If you are, you may bless another Swan Sister to minimize her barriers and maximize her best life.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

Seasons of Her Soul (Publications)

To preview/purchase the print or Kindle version of my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, please visit Amazon.com at 
 

 

Book 2 in the Lee’s Legacy series, Hold on Her Heart, is in the works! Stay tuned….

 

 

 

 

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Surrounded by Swan Soul Sisters

Surrounded by Swan Soul Sisters

It’s Day 58 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and I’m feeling blessed to be surrounded by Swan Soul Sisters.

Smart at Work (Professional)

I’m not gonna lie. Today has been a roller coaster ride. My work day started off well with me rising early to present about Hope House Mission where I’m the Women’s Center Director, at an AK Steel/United Way event. Because the former is featured in JD Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy and the latter has Bold Goals around Income and a Stable Families Initiative, drawing the connection between these and our work proved to be a natural fit, so I felt well prepared. What I wasn’t prepared for was being blinded by sunlight while trying to get to an unfamiliar location, traffic issues and dumb directions –– a new D or challenge women face ––  from my GPS, that had me discombobulated by the time I arrived!  Once there, however, what I shared was well received and set me up for a great work day on the professional front.

Serene at Home (Personal)

But like the glaring sunlight that blind sighted me, so did some personal dysfunctional relationship dynamics  that plunged me into a  depression.At times I feel as though I’ve been dubbed “The Queen of the Ds”…Rather than focus on my family of origin or the one I’ve created, instead I’m choosing joy and gratitude because I’m surrounded by Swan Soul Sisters.

Sense of Style (Packaging)

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Saturdays often have me Surrounded by Swan Soul Sisters (2 weeks ago).   Me, Pink Collar Coach, in the middle with Marina & Kibby on either side. My outfit all Calvin Klein from TJ Maxx with exception of shoes, Stein Mart.

Summary (Putting it Into Practice)

It’s easy, and oh so tempting, to let myself get sucked into a pit of despair, but I believe God allows me to go through the things I do so I can share how I’m able to minimize my barriers and maximize beauty and my best professional and personal life ––  all to His glory.  In this instance, being Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose means blogging (writing about painful occurrences to render them historical) and surrounding myself with positivity from my Swan Soul Sisters.

Spirit-Led (Prayer)

I pray when you’re facing personal and professional Ds this post will inspire you to be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose in order to minimize them, too.

Be savvy & chic, 

~Pink Collar Coach

Seasons of Her Soul, Book 1 in the Lee’s Legacy Series (Publications)

To preview/purchase the print or Kindle version of my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, please visit Amazon.com at 
 
I am currently working on Book 2, Hold on Her Heart. Stay Tuned! 
Living Proof Live 2019 with Beth Moore & Back to Baseline with Blogging

Living Proof Live 2019 with Beth Moore & Back to Baseline with Blogging

Though it’s been a little over a month since my last post, I started this one on Living Proof Life 2019 with Beth Moore on Day 56 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project (reset) and am just going to pick up here 5 weeks later to get back to a baseline with blogging…

The event turned out to be truly transformational and provided what I needed to sustain me through the personal and professional Ds –– or challenges women face –– I was already dealing with and those to come. Originally when the nonprofit where I’m the Women’s Center Director offered complimentary tickets for the two day conference, I’d hoped to use it as a team building activity for the whole group of women I lead. But due to staffing constraints and a D  in the form of a diagnosis for one staff member, it wasn’t to be.

Instead, my Swan Sister, Kibby and I made the most of the opportunity. Various other Ds limited our time together this summer, so meeting for dinner –– a good D! –– beforehand and riding together saved gas, parking fare and allowed a chance to catch up. Aware of my dysfunctional relationship Ds, Kibby –– a prayer warrior ––  had me share. And by time we entered the venue to worship and look at God’s Word with Beth Moore, expectancy filled the building, our hearts and those of the 5,000 plus women who’d convened for Living Proof 2109.

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Me, Pink Collar Coach, in a favorite lace dress, pumps and floral bag.               All Calvin Klein from TJ Maxx.                                                                              Kibby is pretty as a peach in a unique sleeveless top that flowed into a train and gorgeous dangly earrings.

Both sessions started with praise and worship. If you’ve ever been in a an auditorium filled with this many women lifting their voices to the Lord, you know it’s a glimpse of what we have to look forward to in eternity.  With our hearts turned toward heaven, we were ready to receive Beth’s teaching and she didn’t disappoint.  Her message, “In the Same Boat” drew from the different accounts in the Gospels about Jesus and the fisherman/disciples who became fishers of men. As an expository teacher, Beth breaks down the history, geography and etymology of words in her lessons. I took a whole booklet of notes over several hours of teaching, but my main takeaways were “From now on ________.” and “I’m saying no to ________________.” My fill in the blanks relate to the dysfunctional relationships and have empowered me as I move forward differently –– another great D!

Since the event, one of my closest friends lost her husband unexpectedly and it rocked me because divorce runs rampant in my family and  they were one of the only examples of a happily married couples (29 years) I’ve had. They loved the way a  I Corinthians 13 tells us to… Then my staff member’s terminal cancer diagnosis took her from us two weeks ago tonight, two days after her birthday. Looking at the dates of  her sunrise and sunset my focus has been on the dash in-between and how she maximized it to the fullest. Both of these deaths have added significance to my “From now on ___________.” and “I’m saying no to ___________________.” I’ll never be the same.

Taking what I learned from Living Proof Live 2019 with Beth Moore, I’m going to be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and put the teaching into practice (TIP). Beginning with getting back to a baseline of blogging. Pray you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and determine ––– an awesome D –––  your “From now on ______________.” and “I”m saying no to ______________.”, too.

Be  savvy & chic ,

                                                                                                          ~Pink Collar Coach

 

 

Keeping Calm and Practicing Self-Care at My Petite Retreat

Keeping Calm and Practicing Self-Care at My Petite Retreat

Good morning, Pink Collar Swans,

It’s Day 54 (reset) of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and this post is coming out from my Petite Retreat this Friday morning where I’m keeping calm and practicing self-care. The non-profit faith-based shelter where I’m the Women’s Center Director was offered complimentary tickets to a Beth Moore conference this weekend, so yesterday I decided I’d take today off and spend it at my not-so-tiny tiny house before heading to the event this evening. Working in what I consider full-time ministry is Service on Purpose, but sometimes it takes its toll. Between dealing with the Ds –– challenges women face ––– in my professional  life as two of our team members have received devastating diagnoses this week, and in my personal life, mainly  in the form of dysfunctional relationships, in order to minimize these barriers and maximize beauty and my best life,  I needed time to keep calm and practice self-care at my Petite Retreat.

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Though  this isn’t my first time serving as a Director, it is the first time I’ve dealt with a terminal diagnosis for a direct report. Being at my best to bless her and to support the staff who love her will require stamina and strength. I’m grateful for this time away from the center at my home/office with the Lord to build up both. And as I prayerfully consider some major decisions regarding personal relationships, I need clarity and space to receive wisdom on which path to walk, as well as a way to process (writing). Keeping calm and practicing self-care here provides all of these.

So I’m thankful for this short respite at my petite retreat.  Not only will  taking time away from the trauma to spend the day writing and the night with Swan Sisters help me in a professional capacity as I serve staff and residents, it enables me to minimize the barriers we’re facing and to maximize beauty and my best life.

If you’re anything like me and are facing Ds in your personal and/or professional life, my prayer for you is that you be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and  intentional about keeping calm and practicing self-care.  Whether that means taking a much-needed day off, attending a conference or simply stealing away to pray and spend some time alone with God. (Jesus  himself modeled self-care for us  –– Luke 5:16). Doing it in a place that soothes your soul is even better… Then you’ll be able to minimize your barriers and maximize beauty and your best life, too.

Be Savvy & Chic ,

~Pink Collar Coach

 
To preview/purchase the print or Kindle version of my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, please visit Amazon.com at 
 

 

 

 

 

Disengaging from Dysfunctional Discourse

Disengaging from Dysfunctional Discourse

It’s Day 44 (reset) of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and as despite the fact that it very well may signal the end of a relationship, I’m disengaging from dysfunctional discourse with someone. All of my life, I’ve tried to be a person who avoids conflict. Most of time that manifests itself in me not voicing my feelings or opinions because they differed from those of others. And I don’t really mind doing that with an  inconsequential choice or topic.  It really didn’t matter to me what game we cousins played as children, so I let them pick. I like most foods, so I’m usually up for the whatever   restaurant whoever I’m with prefers. More often than not, I don’t have a dog in the fight of the moment. Sometimes, however, when the stakes are high –– when it’s a crucial conversation ––  I’m compelled to have a discussion, debate or even a  mild  disagreement (Though these all start with D, I don’t consider them to be Ds as in the challenges women face). When the stakes are high, I attempt to keep the goal of a crucial conversation –– to preserve the relationship –– in mind. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m perfect at it. But am I intentional about it? I can say Yes with assurance. So when I’m doing my best to use the tools in my belt –– Using “I” Statements, Active Listening, Positive Sentiment Override, etc. and the other individual is aggressive, argumentative and downright argumentative, as I’ve gotten older and hopefully grown in all the life domains, I consistently find myself disengaging from dysfunctional discourse.

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Visual was shared on LinkedIn.                                                       Credit to the creator, though I don’t agree w/where all placed. I”d have to respectfully agree to disagree…RESPECT is key!

The recent pounding I took from an individual about one of the above items  not being an unplanned expense reminded me that not everyone has as many tools in their belt. If they’ve only got a hammer, everything looks like a nail. That’s not a judgment call or superiority on my part. It’s actually pity that even people –– me included –– who love the Lord and may even love the person with whom  they’re embroiled in conflict –– are so intent on making their point that it becomes more important than the person and maintaining the relationship.

For now, I’m choosing to press pause on this one. Prayerfully, the person will be receptive to learning about other tools they can add to their belt. Until that happens, I’m dis-engaging from the dysfunctional discourse and lifting the person up in prayer while I continue working on my own communication skills. By doing so, I’m minimizing the communication barrier and maximizing beauty and my best life. I pray you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose about adding communication tools to your repertoire as well. If you do, you can minimize communication barriers and live your best life, too.

Be Savvy & Chic ,

                                                                                                            ~Pink Collar Coach

 

Working Hard as a Director and on the Dance Floor

Working Hard as a Director and on the Dance Floor

It’s Day 28 (reset) of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and a picture taken last Thursday while I was teaching reminds me that I’m working hard as a Director and on the dance floor! Captured toward the end of class with my hair a disaster and make  up destroyed, it’s clear I’m a sweaty mess! And so proud of it. Working hard to lead and serve the residents, staff and volunteers of a homeless shelter takes tons of energy. So much so that at times, I wonder where I’ll get the rest to instruct a class afterward. Then, following a mad dash to change my clothes and make the drive, I arrive and see the expectant faces of the students. This kicks my excitement into gear! And to top that, last Thursday the students surprised me with a belated 50th dance celebration and showed up from a few different gyms and YMCAs. That made me so exuberant that I kicked it up another notch, which shows on my face! It speaks to the effort I put in working hard as a Director and on the dance floor!

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Instead of the ugly cry, this is the ugly sweat!                                                                                            All performance attire Calvin Klein – it is quick dry and so appreciated.                            Preferred dance shoes – New Balance. All from TJ Maxx.

Women work hard! Being balanced takes intentionality. Far too often, we let our careers, family, other activities, etc. get us out of the habit of doing the things we love for self-care. Yes, I’m a paid Zumba instructor who appreciates the ancillary income, but I also dance to deal with my Ds –– barriers or challenges women face. For me these are mostly manifested in dysfunctional relationships and ongoing issues with being divorced. But oh, do I feel better when I’m dancing! The stress just melts away. Right along with my make up!!! Dance is a positive D and one of the main contributors to me being able to minimize my barriers in order to maximize beauty and my best life. Ugly sweat and all! So glad I was at least wearing my signature pink for the pic!

I pray you will be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and not only work hard on your job but that you’ll set a goal to work hard at a workout routine. Whether you’re getting one going for the first time in awhile or ever… I can attest from personal experience that the positive release of endorphins is worth it. They boost your emotions and can put a positive period on the end of the worst work day. Not to mention the cognitive, physical, social, and even spiritual benefits. No matter the playlist, there’s a part of me that’s connected to God in worship. I’m especially blessed that I receive financial gain from teaching dance classes as well. For me, it literally pays off to work hard as a director and on the dance floor!

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

 

Minimizing Challenges & Maximizing Chances

Minimizing Challenges & Maximizing Chances

It’s Day 309 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Challenge and I’ve spent the last few days practicing what I preach – as in minimizing my challenges and maximizing every chance I get. I’m not gonna lie about it – the devil has been busy throwing every D he can my way – dysfunctional relationships, discouragement, discrimination. It’s like what I say about coaching around the Ds – You name it, I deal with it in coaching. Well, you name it and I’ve dealt with it in my personal or professional life recently.  But rather than letting the Ds get me down, I’ve let push me forward – to promote the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic brand, to grow the coaching  agency and to promote my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, while working on the sequel, Hold On Her Heart. It feels good to be able to accomplish what I encourage my coaching clients to do: Minimize the challenges and maximize the chances!

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Me, Pink Collar Coach – Minimizing barriers and maximizing my best life in another oldie but goodie Calvin Klein jersey dress, infinity scarf, handbag, boots,                          & fun two-tone tights that tie the colors together.                                                                                       All TJ Maxx except for the boots found at Goodwill for $11 – brand spanking new!

After teaching Zumba yesterday, I did a complimentary life coaching session with a potential client and she found it so beneficial I didn’t have to ask for the commitment – she initiated. It’s exciting to see my list of clients grow slowly but surely – and they’re truly my target audience – professional women who are facing personal barriers that negatively impact their performance. By addressing their Ds, I prevent derailing and support them in living their best lives and being the best savvy and chic version of themselves. And I try to do it all to His glory. When there are tears during a session – often tears of release – because they can finally talk about their struggles – I know I’m living my purpose. Wonderful as it is that coaching clients “make the cash register ring”, that knowledge that I’m serving women is what I value as priceless.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose entrepreneur, getting a business up and going is not for the faint of heart. I probably work harder now than I did in my highest level position working for others. Though I’m sometimes viewed as someone who might not have gumption – that has more to do with my shorter stature and softer speaking voice than anything else – I do show initiative to make things happen. That characteristic is serving me well in trying to make Pink Collar Savvy & Chic work. And I need all the get up and go I can muster when the Ds threaten to make me feel like giving in instead. On my own, I can do nothing. But when I take my eyes off of the challenges, and focus on the chances I have to live the personal and professional life God has for me, I’m able to minimize and maximize on.

How about you? How are you being Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose to minimize the challenges you’ve faced in your personal or professional life lately? How are you maximizing the chances your’e been given on the home-front or in the workplace?

To preview or purchase the print or Kindle version of Seasons of Her Soul, please visit Amazon at http://amzn.to/2CXE6Wj or http://amzn.to/2r7qtm9. It can also be purchased at Barnes and Noble.com at https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seasons-of-her-soul-tammi-ector/1127818446?ean=9780998966359. Thank you!

Be savvy &   chic,

~Pink Collar Coach