It’s another day of being Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose, and Day 15 of NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writer’s Month. It’s also Friday & I’m finding time to write on Date Night.
Project: Hold on Her Heart, Lee’s Legacy, Book 2
Goal: 50, 000 words in 30 days
Thursday and Friday total: 3,172
Overall Total: 18, 810
Book Total: 31, 339
Dealing with the Ds –– the personal and professional challenges and barriers women face –– in the form of death of staff member’s mother and visitation/funeral today. Have also battled some serious diagnosis issues with my asthma, and depression. Thankfully, date night –– an awesome D! –– with my hubby and double days and weeks (2 straight, earned a badge) of writing help me to minimize them and maximize beauty and my best life.
I pray your’e being Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and finding time for the whatever helps you do the same!
It’s another day of being Pink Collar Savvy & Chicon Purpose and Monday’s NaNoWriMo –– National Novel Writer’s Month produced more quality words than quantity.
Project: Seasons of Her Soul, Lee’s Legacy, Book 2.
Goal: 50, 000 words in 30 days.
Total Overall: 13, 699
Total Book Words: 26, 276
Though I would have loved to have written more, my Monday has consisted of dealing with a D – personal challenge or barrier women face –– in the form of the death of another team member’s mother. This is the 2nd death in as many months – and from the same type of cancer diagnosis –– a devastating D…
Thankfully I was able to minimize my barriers with dance fusion –– an amazing D!!! Then I came home and maximized beauty and my best life by writing a scene that is more about the quality of the words than the quantity.
I pray you will be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic this week and minimize your barriers by doing something that motivates you to achieve your goals. If you’re anything like me, you’ll take quality over quantity any day.
It’s another Pink Collar Savvy & Chicon Purpose day and yesterday I spent precious time with two of The Lattes discussing leadership, loss and love.
Service on Purpose/Smart at Work (Professional Life)
Four of us –– three African America and one Caucasian, coffee with a little milk –– became close when we worked together as Leadership Coaches. Though we missed what our Milk brings to the mix, coming together made it a sweet Sweetest Day. Five years ago, I left the agency with the goal of maximizing the Masters in Leadership and Coaching I’d soon earn. After a few almost but not quite right roles, this week will mark a year as Women’s Center Director – my perfect service on purpose fit! Terri soon earned a coveted spot as the agency’s first minority Team Leader and Delorise recently came up through the ranks to claim the same title! So much leadership among us and reason to celebrate…
Serene at Home (Personal Life)
Still, our rejoicing was tempered by a D –– or challenge women face –– the unexpected death of Terri’s beloved husband of nearly 30 years on Labor Day. Heartbreaking. But hopeful. With a family history rife with Ds –– in the form of divorce and dysfunctional relationships –– for me their marriage serves a beacon of hope. Their kind of love is rare but does exist! As Terri deals with her incredible loss, she can often be heard to say, “I go to gratitude”. Having been loved so well, she knows she’s among the blessed and highly favored. And of course, because we were at my Petite Retreat, talk turned to decorating and Shabby Chic style. Terri even laughed about being able to finally put her floral comforter on the bed now!
Being with my lovely, smart, strong Swan Sisters made me go to gratitude, too. Though I no longer see them on the daily, our hearts are connected and the time brought healing. The Lattes are leaders at work and in their families. In fact, Delorise adopted a toddler four years ago when his mother died of cancer though her two girls were in their preteens and teens… They have capacity for great love and to grieve losses graciously and find reasons to laugh. They are SO Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose. I’m blessed to have spent time with them because they truly demonstrate how to deal effectively with the Ds to minimize barriers and to maximize beauty and their best lives. I just pray our Milk, appropriately named Joy, can join us next time for an even more perfect blend of The Lattes!
Though it’s been a little over a month since my last post, I started this one on Living Proof Life 2019 with Beth Moore on Day 56 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chicon Purpose Project (reset) and am just going to pick up here 5 weeks later to get back to a baseline with blogging…
The event turned out to be truly transformational and provided what I needed to sustain me through the personal and professional Ds –– or challenges women face –– I was already dealing with and those to come. Originally when the nonprofit where I’m the Women’s Center Director offered complimentary tickets for the two day conference, I’d hoped to use it as a team building activity for the whole group of women I lead. But due to staffing constraints and a D in the form of a diagnosis for one staff member, it wasn’t to be.
Instead, my Swan Sister, Kibby and I made the most of the opportunity. Various other Ds limited our time together this summer, so meeting for dinner –– a good D! –– beforehand and riding together saved gas, parking fare and allowed a chance to catch up. Aware of my dysfunctional relationship Ds, Kibby –– a prayer warrior –– had me share. And by time we entered the venue to worship and look at God’s Word with Beth Moore, expectancy filled the building, our hearts and those of the 5,000 plus women who’d convened for Living Proof 2109.
Both sessions started with praise and worship. If you’ve ever been in a an auditorium filled with this many women lifting their voices to the Lord, you know it’s a glimpse of what we have to look forward to in eternity. With our hearts turned toward heaven, we were ready to receive Beth’s teaching and she didn’t disappoint. Her message, “In the Same Boat” drew from the different accounts in the Gospels about Jesus and the fisherman/disciples who became fishers of men. As an expository teacher, Beth breaks down the history, geography and etymology of words in her lessons. I took a whole booklet of notes over several hours of teaching, but my main takeaways were “From now on ________.” and “I’m saying no to ________________.” My fill in the blanks relate to the dysfunctional relationships and have empowered me as I move forward differently –– another great D!
Since the event, one of my closest friends lost her husband unexpectedly and it rocked me because divorce runs rampant in my family and they were one of the only examples of a happily married couples (29 years) I’ve had. They loved the way a I Corinthians 13 tells us to… Then my staff member’s terminal cancer diagnosis took her from us two weeks ago tonight, two days after her birthday. Looking at the dates of her sunrise and sunset my focus has been on the dash in-between and how she maximized it to the fullest. Both of these deaths have added significance to my “From now on ___________.” and “I’m saying no to ___________________.” I’ll never be the same.
Taking what I learned from Living Proof Live 2019 with Beth Moore, I’m going to be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and put the teaching into practice (TIP). Beginning with getting back to a baseline of blogging. Pray you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chicand determine ––– an awesome D ––– your “From now on ______________.” and “I”m saying no to ______________.”, too.
It’s Day 8/9 of being back to blogging and in yesterday morning’s work prayer meeting a wise organizational leader reminded us to keep calm and practice self-care. In social service/ministry, we often deal with trauma. And trauma is vicarious. It can transfer from those we serve onto us. If we’re not careful, it can infect us and make us physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually sick too. Keeping calm and practicing self-care is the key to preventing this in our work/ministry lives.
What I’ve found, however, is that those of us who are nurturers often find it a challenge to provide ourselves with the same level of care we generously lavish on others. This was evident in the meeting when those of us who were dealing with the death (a huge D or challenge!) of a young woman and mother kept voicing concern over how it impacted everyone else. But when the group circled up around the two of us who worked closely with her and knew her best –– both of us women –– the depth of our pent-up pain manifested itself in tears that once released refused to be staunched despite the box of tissue we wept through. So why were we selfish with ourselves about our need to grieve and weep? It’s only natural that the loss of someone we tried so hard to save is devastating. In fact, when Lazarus died before Jesus could arrive to save him, the Bible tells us, “Jesus wept.” – John 11:35 (NIV).
Becoming completely vested in someone else involves experiencing their triumphs and their tragedies. In that sense, exposure to trauma is an occupational hazard. But its vicarious effects can be mitigated by acknowledging the myriad emotions we experience through being a part of another human’s life when the outcome is not what we hoped it would be. Sometimes the work still results in a world of hurt. And when we’re hurting, it’s not only ok to give ourselves some TLC, it’s necessary because we can’t help others heal if we won’t do it for ourselves.
So if you’re anything like me and are at work on purpose to serve others –– on the home front or in the workplace –– and sometimes feel your world is spinning out of control, I hope you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic, keep calm and practice self-care.
It’s Day 7 of being back to blogging, and I wish every sister in need would let me be her shelter. Yes, I’m the director of a women’s center –– a homeless shelter for women and children –– and am blessed to be able to provide a safe physical place to stay. But I’m talking about something that goes beyond a building. I’m talking about being a safe emotional, relational and spiritual place of safety for women whose needs run so much deeper than needing a roof over their heads. I’ve poured out my heart to these hurting women all of my life –– in personal and professional settings –– prayerfully believing they would see Christ in me and be drawn to Him. And I’m so thankful to say the times this has happened I’ve felt blessed and humbled beyond measure to that the Creator of the Universe would use little insignificant me. Today, though, I learned of the loss of a sister…Ugh! I don’t even have words to express my sorrow. Because I literally pleaded with her, begged –– in vain –– for this sister to let me be her shelter.
As a believer, I’m going to hold on to the hope that this sweet, beautiful young woman may have recalled the truths I spoke over her life –– that Jesus loves her –– and that my prayers for her to accept the gift of new life He offers were answered. I have to choose to believe she is safe in His arms tonight. I also don’t want to lose another sister to the Ds (challenges women face i.e. drinking, drugs, depression, dysfunction, domestic violence, etc.) and have to let you know that if you are ever in need of a safe haven –– emotionally, relationally or spiritually –– I’m here. So be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and reach out sister. Let me be your shelter.