Savvy & Chic Resilience Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series – Internal Beliefs – Part 1

Savvy & Chic Resilience Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series – Internal Beliefs – Part 1

It’s Day 170 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and I’ve had to employ some savvy & chic resilience strategies – my internal beliefs specifically – to bounce back from being ill the past few weeks. Having to rely on these has reinforced the importance of internal beliefs as an adult resiliency protective factor. The Devereux Foundation defines internal beliefs as the thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves, our lives, and how we perceive our effectiveness at taking action in life. The thought I don’t know how people make it through life without faith is one that often crosses my mind, so I’m excited to continue this series on strategies for you to build your bounce with internal beliefs as the focus.

According to Mary Mackrain and Neferteri Bruce the authors of Building Your Bounce: Simple Strategies for a Resilient You, positive internal core beliefs about ourselves serves as a cozy energy blanket wrapped around us. It enables us shrug off hurtful comments, to embrace compliments, and to use our positivity to effectively navigate life’s ups and downs. Building up positive internal beliefs lays the foundation for us to set and stick to goals, learn from our mistakes, bounce back from major life events and loss, accept praise, trust others, handle unexpected challenges, and to go with our instincts.

It’s never too late to start building your internal belief bounce. If you read the first post in this series, Savvy & Chic Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series – Relationships  and reflected on your adult resiliency strengths and areas for growth, you can reference that or just click the link, read and complete. Then, use the strategies associated with each item below to build your bounce around internal beliefs:

Building Your Internal Beliefs Bounce

1. Belief in your personal strengths. Sometimes we are so focused on what we want to change and make better that we neglect to acknowledge the good things we hold within ourselves. Recognizing and remembering our strengths builds us up so we can use our strengths to solve problems.

Strategy: Taking Time for Your Talents. Take time to write down you talents and gifts (i.e. singing, writing, dancing or whatever you’re good at and love to do). Next, estimate how much time a week you do each of these things. Evaluate whether you spend at least an hour per week fostering and enjoying your talents. If it less than that, what can you do to ensure these talents come to the forefront. Start small – even if it means just singing in the shower. What can you do tomorrow?

2. Belief that you are creative. Creativity is about self-expression. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are an artist, dancer, or cook. It does mean you find ways to express yourself openly and without fear of judgement. Creating something based on personal feelings nurtures our emotional health.  When we do, we will feel energized and understood which bolsters our belief that we are unique and special.

Strategy: Creativity Collage. Get a blank piece of paper or poster board, then gather magazines or catalogs. Look through and cut out images that catch your eye without overthinking – just go with what attracts you. Glue all to the paper or board. While reflecting on what you created, ask yourself Is there a theme (i.e. family, nature, etc.). What colors are represented? What can I do to bring more of these themes and colors into my daily life?

3. Having strong beliefs. We all face challenges in life or what I often refer to as The Ds. Somehow we must find gratitude, hope and peace in life. This looks different for everyone – religion, groups of friends, nature, etc. Belief or faith in something in life enables us to tap into our coping resources and resolve.

Strategy: Self-Reflect on What You Believe In. Complete the following thoughts:

Thank goodness for ________________________ when something difficult or bad happens.

I could not live without _____________________.

I am most grateful for _______________________.

You may already have strong beliefs. If you don’t, please consider how you answered the above. Do your beliefs support your sense of peace and hope?

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As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Chick who has been down more than I’ve been up lately due to my health challenges, believing in my strengths, my creativity and in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has gotten me through two weeks where I wondered if I’d ever bounce back form doing so little to grow my business, meet my writing deadlines, or to fight the never ending domestic relations war with my wasband. Still, I’m running out of steam and will have to cover the other strategies in tomorrow’s post. Until then, I’m so thankful that the song we used to sing in Vacation Bible School says still holds true:

I’ve got the wonderful love of my blessed Redeemer down in the depths of my heart!

That’s an internal belief protective factor that fuels the others and gives me all of the adult resiliency I need.

How about you? Which of these strategies can you use to build your bounce? I’d love to chat with you about it.

Be savvy  & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

Please note, the information here was adapted from http://www.devereuxearlychildhood.org.

 

Savvy & Chic Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series – Relationships

Savvy & Chic Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series – Relationships

It’s Day 165 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and I’m diving a little deeper into this series on resilience by providing some practical tips you can use to build your bounce through relationships. As I discussed in yesterday’s post, Reflecting on Resilience as I Recover & Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series Kickoff, relationships are one of the adult resiliency protective factors that enable us to bounce back from life’s ups and downs. They are the long-lasting, mutual, reciprocal interactions we have with others in our lives. According to Mary Mackrain and Nefertiti Bruce, the authors of the adult resiliency journal pictured below, relationships support us in laughing more, feeling healthy, nurturing hope, feeling supported, having fun, sharing our emotions, and being honest.

Being down with diverticulitis has given me a lot of time to not only think about the truth of the above but to experience how having supportive relationships contributes to a healthy life overall. That’s what prompted me to suggest you reflect on each of the protective factors, what they comprise, and whether they are areas of strength or opportunity for you. Now, considering that, I’d like to share some ways to build your bounce around relationships.

Building Your Relationships Bounce 

1. Having good friends who support you. – By surrounding yourself with positive people, you create your own safety net. It’s important to know what you need from another person, which requires reconnecting with what you want and need from the relationships in your life.

Strategy: Be Intentional About Your Relationship Needs, Wants and Expectations. Answer below.

In a relationship I need a person who is:

I want a person in my life who accepts me when I:

When I am with the person I expect to:

From time to time reflect on this and determine whether you need more of this in your life and how you can go about getting it.

2. Having a mentor who helps guide you. Mentors offer support and encouragement in specific areas of your life such as your career. They improve your self-confidence, increase your motivation, and encourage you to be optimistic about the future and its opportunities.

Strategy: Coffee and Connect. Imagine meeting with someone who has achieved what you want to achieve and who inspires you.

My mentor looks like:

My mentor and I can have meaningful conversations about:

My mentor has already achieved ____________________, and I am hopeful they will play a role in helping me to do the same.

Now invite that person to coffee, meet and plan to meet again.

3. Being able to provide support to others. Helping others not only benefits them, it’s beneficial to you as well. By being supportive and listening, you can experience enhanced energy, self-worth, hopefulness and happiness.

Strategy: Show Some Love. Demonstrate your appreciation for a mentor or someone who has been influential in a positive way. Update them on how you are doing and let them know what role they’ve played in your life. 

4. Being able to empathize with others. Unlike sympathy where you feel the same as someone, empathy is when you understand and are accurate about what another person feels. This creates a strong connection and deeper relationships.

Strategy: Relate vs. Debate. When listening to a friend tell a story about something that happened to them, instead of debating how you are different, make an effort to let them know how you can relate to them. This will bring you closer.

5. Trusting close friends. Trust is a cornerstone of healthy relationships because it allows us to be ourselves. Though we can’t control how others respond to us, their reactions affect us. Having “safe” people who treat us well and give us positive feedback ensures us their love will not waver when we have a bad day.

Strategy: Circle of Trust. Reflect on the people in your life you feel safe telling anything. They listen when you’ve had a hard day and don’t offer excessive unsolicited advice. They are consistently there for you. Draw a large circle and jot down their names inside it. This is your Circle of Trust.

Remember that these are very special people who will be there through thick and thin. Reciprocate that by listening to and supporting them. Reach out.

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As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Coach, I hope you’ll not only read this information but apply it to build your relationship bounce. Thank you!

All information was adapted from the above. You can also visit http://www.devereuxearlychildhood.com for more strategies.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

Reflecting on Resilience as I Recover & Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series Kickoff

Reflecting on Resilience as I Recover & Strategies to Build Your Bounce Series Kickoff

It’s Day 164 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and since I was down another day with my recent diverticulitis diagnosis, I spent part of it reflecting on resilience as I recover. Yesterday, Day 163, I was too sick to post, and though I’m not much better today, I’m determined to bounce back and write. Blogging daily has been a gift and now comprises a part of my Savvy & Chic Resiliency Strategy.

I first learned about resiliency when I worked in the early childhood field. Though the focus was building resilience in children, it stood to reason that parents and adults must be resilient to support the children in their lives. Then, a mentor turned friend, Christina Kelley, presented on “Building Your Bounce” at the last conference I attended as an early childhood professional. Though that was three years ago, I’ve applied the knowledge and tools ever since.

Now I coach women in the workplace who are facing personal barriers to minimize those in order to maximize their beauty and best professional lives. And after four days of dealing with diverticulitis, I’m painfully aware (pun intended) that I need to take a dose of my own coaching medicine! Based on the Devereux Adult Resiliency Survey (DARS) there are four protective factors related to thoughts and behaviors that support adult resiliency. Below I’ve shared these factors, their definitions, and listed items you may identify as either strengths or areas of opportunity. I hope you’ll reflect on the latter and then read tomorrow’s post for some strategies on how to build your bounce in those areas.

Adult Resiliency Protective Factors

Relationships – The mutual, long-lasting, reciprocal bonds we share with others in our lives.

  • Good friends who provide you with support.
  • A mentor or someone who shows you the way.
  • You provide support to others.
  • You are empathetic to others.
  • You trust your close friends.

Internal Beliefs – The thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves, our lives and how we feel about our effectiveness to take action in life.

  • Your role as a caregiver is important.
  • You have personal strengths.
  • You are creative.
  • You have strong beliefs.
  • You are hopeful about the future.
  • You are lovable.

Initiative – The ability to make decisions and positive choices and to follow through with them.

  • You communicate effectively with those around you.
  • You try many different ways to solve a problem.
  • You have a hobby that you engage in.
  • You seek out new knowledge.
  • You are open to new ideas.
  • You laugh often.
  • You are able to say no.
  • You can ask for help.

Self-Control – The ability to experience and express a range of feelings using socially appropriate words and actions.

  • You can express your emotions.
  • You set limits for yourself.
  • You are flexible.
  • You can calm yourself down.

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As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Chick who is dealing with another D (barrier), I understand from experience how critical it is to make sure our adult resiliency protective factors are in place as we navigate the ups and downs of life. I’m looking forward to diving deeper especially since I probably won’t be out and about for a few more days! Besides, reflecting on resilience as I recover and supporting you with strategies to build your bounce is a way to minimize my barrier and maximize my purpose while I’m down with diverticulitis!

Which of the above are strengths for you? Which are areas of opportunity? I hope you’ll visit tomorrow to learn how you can build your own Savvy & Chic Resilience Strategy!

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

All of the information is from the book cover featured here. You can also go to http://www.devereuxearlychildhood.org for more information.