It’s Day 388 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and I’m so glad I had an extended birthday Monday soaking up the sun and strength because I got hit with some major Ds –– or personal challenges –– that evening. When my Swan Soul Sister, Kibby, asked if I’d like to go to the pool the day after my birthday, I got up early and worked so I’d be able to relax with her poolside. She blessed me with some beautiful gifts that are so Pink Collar Savvy & Chic, including a holder for my new business cards (I’d been searching for one), desk accessories, bookmarks, earrings and nail polish. All in shades of blush pink. That and the time spent with her eating lunch, tanning, swimming and going to Zumba together made it such a lovely day. After Zumba, however, some Ds that had been swirling under the surface erupted into a maelstrom that threatened to pull me under. Rather than go there, I opted to create some boundaries and distance myself from the situation (hence no posts for three days). Looking back, I realize God gave me that day to bask in His love for me through my sister in Christ. Soaking up the sun and strength prepared me for what was to come.
As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Life Coach who coaches women to minimize their barriers and to maximize beauty and their best lives, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised I’m facing so many challenges. I pride myself on not coaching on anything I haven’t experienced, so in a sense, what I’m going through now is on the job experience! LOL! Seriously though, all of my life, whenever I’ve tried to be true to myself –– on the home-front and in the workplace –– there has been opposition from those who want to condemn or label me as something I’m not. There was a time when I thought I had to own their nonsense, but those days are over. I know who I am. More importantly, I know whose I am. That being the case, I’m so thankful my Heavenly Father not only let me soak up some sun in the form of Vitamin D, He let me soak up strength through His Son to deal with my Ds!
Facing Ds today? Be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and get out in the sunshine. And if you’re in need of some strength, you can soak that up through the Son. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Phillipians 4:13.
It’s Day 233 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and I’ve been reminded how important it is to love yourself enough to set limits. I’ve had at least three interactions around this concept this week and have to believe God is trying to remind me of something I’m prone to forget. Growing up in an extremely dysfunctional home, I didn’t know boundaries existed. When I learned that they did, and that I actually had a right to have them, I was in my mid-thirties. By then, I’d gravitated to more than one boundary buster because as bad as their behavior was, our co-dependent dances were familiar. Years of busted boundaries and broken relationships later, I’ve finally learned to love myself enough to set limits. Perhaps you need a reminder to love yourself enough to set them too.
The three areas where I’ve been reminded of setting limits this week are the following:
With Children (Toddlers to teens and everything in between). Call me old fashioned but in our society where we all want to be BFFs and buds with our children, I believe clear boundaries about parental authority and respect still need to be in place. And just in case that sounds antiquated, with a degree in education and nearly two decades of experience working with children, they actually want the adults to set limits, otherwise their world has no safety parameters and can become frightening, unpredictable and unstable.
With Significant Others and Spouses (Past, present, and future). If exes and wasbands (was + husband) cross the line, re-establishing it promptly prevents them from reverting to old behaviors. Each situation differs, but usually, you’re not with them for a reason. If you haven’t made the leap, what he’s doing to woo you, should continue to keep you. If he’s put a ring on it, adhering to the Biblical admonition to submit to our husbands and for them to love us to the point of laying down their lives makes for a heavenly union.
With Relationships (Family, friends, personal and professional). Because we’re only human, all of us are irregular to some extent or other. Character foibles and idiosyncrasies are one thing and should be handled with grace when possible. Abusive, boundary busting, emotional vampires, and toxic people on the other hand require limit setting. For your own well-being, creating distance, limiting time spent, or walking away altogether, are difficult but caring steps. It prevents you enabling and may cause the individual to take a look at the behaviors that pushed you away. Depending on the type of relationship, assistance or support may be needed to establish appropriate limits.
As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose life coach, I don’t coach on anything I haven’t experienced, so I’ve set limits in all of these areas. Most often, creating healthy boundaries, guarding my psychological safety and protecting my time, are means of preserving relationships – a worthy end. And when I have to walk away from someone – for a while or forever – it’s with the assurance that I’ve done all that I could to love them. That relationship may have ended, but I continue to love myself enough to set limits.
How can you be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose about loving yourself enough to set limits? On the home-front? In the workplace? Have you ever had to walk away from someone in order to love or be true to yourself?