Pink Collar Coach Setting Precedents

Pink Collar Coach Setting Precedents

It’s Day 310 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and Joel Osteen’s sermon reminded me that as the first person in my family to earn a Masters degree, I’ve set a precedent. He was talking about a young African American man, Ejayy DeVaughn, who grew up in Compton, California – one of the roughest neighborhoods in America – and was accepted into Harvard. When he said, “Straight outta Compton” – referencing the 1988 film that depicted life in Southern California and made the phrase a part of pop and urban culture – “to Harvard” – it resonated with me. Recently at a birthday party, I met a young lady who graduated from my alma matter, Walnut Hills High School, a top nationally ranked college preparatory school. When she asked where I grew up and I replied “Avondale”, she came back with “Straight out of the A, baby!” It’s not Compton, but it could be. I won’t go into all the reasons that’s so; let’s just say many of us didn’t make it out alive, let alone to attend college. While I didn’t attend an Ivy League school like Ejayy, I’m proud of getting a Masters and setting a precedent for my daughter and other young women to pursue their educational goals – even when the odds are stacked against them.

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And boy were they stacked against me! With what felt like more than my share of Ds (the challenges women face), including dysfunctional relationships, divorce, domestic court issues, diagnosis, etc., twenty years after earning a bachelors, I earned a graduate degree in Leadership and Coaching with a coaching certification. A few minutes after submitting my capstone project, I went to fill up my gas tank for the week. I seldom ever do that on a Sunday night, however, when I pulled up behind the car in front of me and saw the above license plate – I read it as a noun vs. a verb – it felt as though God Himself celebrated my accomplishment!

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Masters level graduate, I’m so thankful for my education. It and my faith are what have gotten me out of some pretty abysmal situations – like being destitute, depressed and ready to die. Instead, I took my education (an Associates and a Bachelors at the time), and worked my way up out of the Ds and into dream jobs – as an Early Childhood Education Center Director, a Training Consultant, and  then a Leadership Coach. The passion I developed in the latter is what compelled me to pursue an advanced degree. Then I landed a job as the Director of a coaching program. Today, eleven years after sleeping in a hooptie AKA ghetto car, my coaching agency, Pink Collar Savvy & Chic is taking off. To my knowledge, no one else in my family owns a business. Guess that means in addition to setting one regarding education, I’m setting a precedent in entrepreneurialism, too.

How are you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose about setting educational or other  precedents in your family? In the workplace?

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

 

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Minimizing Challenges & Maximizing Chances

Minimizing Challenges & Maximizing Chances

It’s Day 309 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Challenge and I’ve spent the last few days practicing what I preach – as in minimizing my challenges and maximizing every chance I get. I’m not gonna lie about it – the devil has been busy throwing every D he can my way – dysfunctional relationships, discouragement, discrimination. It’s like what I say about coaching around the Ds – You name it, I deal with it in coaching. Well, you name it and I’ve dealt with it in my personal or professional life recently.  But rather than letting the Ds get me down, I’ve let push me forward – to promote the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic brand, to grow the coaching  agency and to promote my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, while working on the sequel, Hold On Her Heart. It feels good to be able to accomplish what I encourage my coaching clients to do: Minimize the challenges and maximize the chances!

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Me, Pink Collar Coach – Minimizing barriers and maximizing my best life in another oldie but goodie Calvin Klein jersey dress, infinity scarf, handbag, boots,                          & fun two-tone tights that tie the colors together.                                                                                       All TJ Maxx except for the boots found at Goodwill for $11 – brand spanking new!

After teaching Zumba yesterday, I did a complimentary life coaching session with a potential client and she found it so beneficial I didn’t have to ask for the commitment – she initiated. It’s exciting to see my list of clients grow slowly but surely – and they’re truly my target audience – professional women who are facing personal barriers that negatively impact their performance. By addressing their Ds, I prevent derailing and support them in living their best lives and being the best savvy and chic version of themselves. And I try to do it all to His glory. When there are tears during a session – often tears of release – because they can finally talk about their struggles – I know I’m living my purpose. Wonderful as it is that coaching clients “make the cash register ring”, that knowledge that I’m serving women is what I value as priceless.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose entrepreneur, getting a business up and going is not for the faint of heart. I probably work harder now than I did in my highest level position working for others. Though I’m sometimes viewed as someone who might not have gumption – that has more to do with my shorter stature and softer speaking voice than anything else – I do show initiative to make things happen. That characteristic is serving me well in trying to make Pink Collar Savvy & Chic work. And I need all the get up and go I can muster when the Ds threaten to make me feel like giving in instead. On my own, I can do nothing. But when I take my eyes off of the challenges, and focus on the chances I have to live the personal and professional life God has for me, I’m able to minimize and maximize on.

How about you? How are you being Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose to minimize the challenges you’ve faced in your personal or professional life lately? How are you maximizing the chances your’e been given on the home-front or in the workplace?

To preview or purchase the print or Kindle version of Seasons of Her Soul, please visit Amazon at http://amzn.to/2CXE6Wj or http://amzn.to/2r7qtm9. It can also be purchased at Barnes and Noble.com at https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seasons-of-her-soul-tammi-ector/1127818446?ean=9780998966359. Thank you!

Be savvy &   chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

 

Time to Talk About It

Time to Talk About It

It’s Day 290 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and today I experienced one of those God-things regarding a stressful situation – It’s finally time to talk about it! I’ve been praying for wisdom and seeking guidance from trusted advisors concerning some difficult conversations I believe need to take place in order for the situation to improve. While God doesn’t speak to me audibly, He speaks loud and clearly through His Word, the Bible. There it’s apparent that truth – spoken in love – is always the right response. Seldom does sweeping things under the carpet or ignoring the elephant in the room ever resolve an issue. Contemplating thus, I drove to a meeting and heard the lyrics, We can’t see for the elephant in the room; we’ve got to talk about it! piping over the airwaves. Confirmation! Later the other parties involved in the situation made it clear that they feel it’s time to talk about it, too. Total confirmation!

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Two Pink Collar Swans – Taking Time To Talk About It.

Coming from a dysfunctional family (one of the Ds or barriers women face) where issues were dealt with using extreme avoidance or extreme aggression, I’ll admit I struggle with conversations that are fraught with conflict. God designed me to be an Abigail, or a peacemaker, but because I’ve often had to engage in fight or flight to protect myself, conflict tempts me to default to my old coping mechanisms – retreating completely or defending my position to the death (not literally though)! Through the grace of God, lots of work on myself, and eleven years with a man who models Christ’s unconditional love for me, I’ve learned new coping skills. My heart’s desire has always been to be the one to break the generational cycle of dysfunction in my family. It runs deep and wide. In and of myself, I know it’s impossible. “But with God, all things are possible!” – Matthew 19:26. These conversations will be hard, but we’re not getting anywhere ignoring the issues. It’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to see the love for the elephant in the room.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Christ follower, I read a devotional every day. Today it was about being a risk-taker. It discussed facing things that feel terrifying because we see the potential benefit. Even if that means a enduring a difficult transition to get there…Taking the risk requires courage and weighing the positives and negatives in order experience peace before we move forward. I did this recently with a dear friend, instead of avoiding the conversation, and thankfully it turned out well. That interaction gives me hope for this situation. I ask for your prayers as I take next steps because it’s far past time to talk about it.

Have you ever treated a difficult situation at home or work like the elephant in the room and ignored it? How were you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose when you finally decided to address it?

Be savvy & Chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

Worn Out from Working It Out – “Kick Start Your High Heeled Success” Workshop

Worn Out from Working It Out – “Kick Start Your High Heeled Success” Workshop

It’s Day 289 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and I’m worn out from working it out at our “Kick Start Your High Heeled Success” workshop. Planning and executing all day women’s events is always draining for Kay Fittes and me – in the best way because we give it our all – however, with a snow advisory for 5-11″ in effect for early this morning into tomorrow morning, we felt an extra degree of stress. Once we’d committed to moving forward unless we a Level 3 emergency, concerns about attrition while wanting our participants to be safe plagued us. All of this necessitated lots of additional communication. Then we went to bed not knowing what we’d find when the time came to head to the venue. Given all the hype, you can imagine our surprise and relief when we awoke to not a drop of precipitation! As is often the case, Kay and I concurred – What a case of much ado about nothing! Even so, we experienced attribution due to the unwarranted fears about what we and the participants called the erroneous weather prediction – a Nor’easter, white death, Snowmagedon, etc. Though we missed having those who understandably decided not to risk it, we had a wonderful workshop with the intrepid participants who dared attend despite forecast snow fall in the afternoon. That forecast was accurate and created a bit of a distraction…Considering the weather issues, it’s no wonder we’re worn out from working it out at our Kick Start workshop!

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Kay Fittes, CEO and Founder, High Heeled Success & me, Pink Collar Coach.                                      Calvin Klein color block dress, blazer, and suede open-toe heels. All TJ Maxx. 

Good thing to kick start something literally means to give it new energy! And that’s exactly what happened while we presented on powering personal esteem, professional esteem, verbal language, non-verbal language, presentations and packaging. The packaging segment is especially enjoyable for me since I get to tie all the pieces together – If you’re already doing all the other things, why let your packaging sabotage your efforts? Also, two of my image coaching clients gave heartfelt testimonials about their experience with me, and I finally got to tell one of them how coaching her through a D – distorted self concept/Ugly Duckling Syndrome – to total transformation/realizing she’s always been a Swan, helped me clarify my mission and tagline, to hone in further on my unique value, and gave me the idea for my swan logo. Immensely gratifying doesn’t begin to describe how I felt seeing and hearing how far she’s come now that the internal changes she’s worked on are reflected in her external packaging. And what a joy to have a table displaying my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul! It seems while I was there to help Swans kick start their careers, I got a kick start for mine as well.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Life Coach, Author and Speaker, it doesn’t get much better than a day like today. Although I’m exhausted, it’s the best kind. Kay read today that we are created in God’s image – to make manifest His glory in us. Just as He worked hard for seven days to create the world, saw it was all very good and then rested, likewise we do our best work, feel a sense of accomplishment, and then crave rest. I’m going to sleep now because I’m wonderfully worn out after working it out at our Kick Start Your High Heeled Success workshop.

Are you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and work to the degree that it wears you out at times? Hopefully, you also feel as sense of accomplishment at having done it well and then give your self permission to rest.

Be savvy  & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

Sometimes It Snows In Spring (And Other Unexpected Happenings)

Sometimes It Snows In Spring (And Other Unexpected Happenings)

It’s Day 286 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, the second day of Spring, and five inches of accumulation confirms that sometimes it snows in spring! This phenomenon is like other unexpected happenings in life. We can either bellyache about it or belly laugh at the turn of events! I choose to do the latter and had a good one when I saw that my silly kitty, Skylar, a master Escape Artist, trotted out after my hubby early this morning. I can image her indignation when she stepped into snow so deep it covered half her leg! She made a pitiful attempt to get back inside by yowling (I so made that word up!) outside the kitchen sliding doors when I came down to make coffee. Too impatient to wait til this critical task was done (I run on faith and strong coffee!), she must have decided to make the best of the situation because she was gone by the time I went to let her in. Just like Skylar didn’t anticipate the turn in the weather, we’re often taken unawares by things that happen at unforseen times. We rush out with our set agenda, then become indignant and yowl at God because the situation doesn’t align with our well laid plans. How dare it snow in spring or other unexpected happenings!

Woman in Snow

My cat’s antics aside, it’s not always easy for me to laugh at the unexpected. When my hubby and I got married creating our big fat blended family, I used to call on the drive home from work and ask What’s the plan for tonight? I wanted to know who would be home and when, how much to make for dinner, what extracurricular activities were on the schedule, etc., etc., etc. It took me about two years to figure out what my husband would always respond, There is no plan. Ugh! That was so not what I wanted to hear. But like my good friend Brenda always tells me, Don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer. So I stopped asking. And I learned that the only thing I could expect was the unexpected. It’s one of the main reasons my marriage works.

Being more flexible and not having expectations about inconsequential things has served me well. To be honest with you, everyone in our home is old enough to eat when they’re hungry, so I don’t sweat it. Neither did I fret about the snow this morning. Sure, I had things to do but nothing that couldn’t wait until the roads were clear. Instead, I had an uber productive work day accomplishing administrative tasks that would have still been on my plate tomorrow had I been able to jump up and do my running around today. In that sense, the snow ended up being an unexpected blessing.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose entrepreneur, I’m trying to live out my coaching agency’s mission to maximize women’s beauty and best lives, while minimizing barriers. While five inches of snow today created some challenges, they’re nothing compared to the real barriers – the Ds – death, depression, diagnosis, disasters, divorce, domestic court issues, domestic violence, drugs and alcohol, dysfunctional relationships, etc, etc, etc. When we consider those things, it puts a little snow in spring and other unexpected happenings into perspective. They may even cause us to laugh. Or be thankful.

How Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose are you about responding to the unexpected happenings in life. Compared to the Ds, what new perspective can you adopt?

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

 

 

 

 

Pink Collar Mom – Made of More Than Many Made Her Out to Be

Pink Collar Mom – Made of More Than Many Made Her Out to Be

It’s Day 267 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and I’m delighted to learn about a Pink Collar Mom who’s made of more than many made her out to be. On Halloween I blogged about the tragic death of our handyman, Mark, who hadn’t reached thirty. He was killed working at a landscaping company when the industrial mower he’d been using to cut grass near a pond flipped over and pinned him underwater. Raised in poverty, Mark had a rough life. Still, he was one of the hardest workers I’ve ever known. And from what my husband tells me, never more so than when he learned he was to be a father. Excitedly expecting his little girl in January, Mark made it clear his child would have it better than he had. But with his death, it seemed mother and baby would have a rough go ahead. My husband, who’d become a mentor to Mark, was devastated by the loss and naturally expressed concern for the baby’s mother. We all wondered how she would manage. This afternoon my hubby paid them a visit and it appears this Pink Collar mom is made of more than many made her out to be.

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Mark’s beautiful baby girl. A Cygnet.

Since I was working on the map for the sequel to Seasons of Her Soul  – Hold On Her Heart – and was in my zone, I declined my hubby’s invite to accompany him. Even so, I was anxious to hear how the visit went and feared I’d get a gloomy report when he called on the way home. Seldom is my husband effusive but he told me, “People say all babies are beautiful. I don’t think they are. But this baby is beautiful.” We went on to discuss how mom is doing and I was elated to hear in addition to receiving a death benefit, she’s working as a veterinary assistant. She loves animals so kudos to her for operating in her strengths zone! Greg even got some advice on how to handle one of our Ds – two delinquent kitties! In addition to doing well in the workplace, she’s also a good homemaker and has created a clean, comfortable environment. Mother, baby, and their three kitties appeared to be happy and in good health. Not a gloomy report at all!

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When Greg walked in  the door I demanded to see Rory’s picture and he said it for me,                  “She sure is a cutie.” I concur. 

Though no tears were shed hearing the above, I did tear up when Greg told me: “She said she came home one day to find Mark painting in the baby’s room. There were names all over the wall. Mark said ‘Rory’ was the one he liked best, so that’s the one she picked.” That and the fact that I would have named a daughter with Greg the same thing (I did name a cat that) was enough to choke me up, but when I consider how Mark had come to view my husband as more than a mentor – he saw him as a father – it isn’t lost on me that he chose a derivative of “Gregory” as his daughter’s name. There’s no way to know for sure this side of heaven if that was his intention; I do know for sure Mark would have loved that it turned out that way… but not near as much as he would have loved her.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose mom, I’m so proud of Rory’s. She’s dealt with one of the biggest Ds – death, buried her baby’s father, birthed his child, is working hard in the workplace and on the home-front, and has honored the man she loved. It doesn’t get much more Pink Collar Savvy & Chic than that, proving she’s made of a Whole. Lot. More. than many made her out to be.

How can you be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose and let a young mom know she’s more than many make her out to be?

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Savvy

“If You’ve Got a Pulse, You’ve Got a Purpose” – Kathie Lee Gifford’s Story

“If You’ve Got a Pulse, You’ve Got a Purpose” – Kathie Lee Gifford’s Story

It’s Day 265 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project, and on my “unniversary” I’m so thankful for the reminder “If you’ve got a pulse, you’ve got a purpose” that I received from hearing Kathie Lee Gifford’s story. Twelve years ago today, on a sunny Sunday morning, God heard my I can’t take this anymore! cry and delivered me from my abusive marriage. While I wouldn’t have chosen the way He did it back then – mostly because of what my children suffered- I soon came to understand the why. It was all part of His perfect plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, in fact, it’s still not. But my experience with the Ds – domestic violence, destitution, depression, despair, divorce, domestic court, and other dastardly deeds done- gave me a  purpose. Today, I use my God-given strengths to coach, encourage and inspire women to minimize their personal barriers and to maximize their beauty and best lives through total transformation – all to His glory. And I’ll keep living this purpose as long as I have a pulse.

Besides being blessed with a wonderful, godly husband and best friend following my divorce, I was grafted into his family. My sister-in-law, Sue, is such a gift! Nearly a week ago she shared Kathie Lee Gifford’s “I Am Second” video with me. Because I always look at whatever she’s sent right away, it felt weird not to do so this time. When I finally watched the video this afternoon, the delay no longer felt weird but like a God-thing. I’d been a little out of sorts all day – the unniversary is still hard because it was traumatic – then below put it all back into perspective. Perfect timing!

Kathie Lee is a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Swan! I’d heard of “I Am Second” but had never watched one of the films. Based on above, and a peek at 1984 figure skating gold medalist Scott Hamilton’s video (Chip and Joanna Gaines’ is there too) I could get lost in the stories of restoration and transformation from athletes, celebrities, politicians, and others with high visibility and influence. Though I don’t fit in that category, I’m still motivated to submit what I refer to as my Ds Story to be included on the site. If you’ve read my posts before, you may be familiar with it. The story chronicles how I hit rock bottom but instead of letting it destroy me, I minimized my barriers and maximized rock bottom as the firm foundation upon which I built not the rest of my life but the best of my life. I’m debating whether to submit a video or the 500 word entry but will keep you posted…literally!

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose domestic violence survivor, I’m so thankful that by the grace of God I’ve been transformed from victim to victor and from domestic violence mess to sustained success. If I can do it, you can too! Whenever I share this and someone’s life (usually a woman’s), is positively impacted, I’m like I’ve fulfilled my purpose. I can die happy now…But since my heart keeps beating, like Kathie Lee Gifford, I’ll keep living my purpose as long as I have a pulse.

As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Swan, you have a pulse, so you have a purpose. How are you living it out at home and/or work? Check out http://www.iamsecond.com for inspiration.

Be savvy & chic,

~Pink Collar Coach

To preview or purchase a print or Kindle copy of my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, a story of one woman’s journey out of domestic violence and into her best life, please visit Amazon at:

http://amzn.to/2CXE6Wj or http://amzn.to/2r7qtm9

Thank you!