The Swan Experience: Minimizing Barriers; Maximizing beauty and women's best personal and professional lives through total transformation.
Author: Pink Collar Coach
Life Coach, Author, Speaker. Founder of Pink Collar Savvy & Chic. Life Coaching for women that facilitates The Swan Experience: Minimizing barriers; Maximizing women's beauty and best lives - through total transformation.
I bring unique value to holistic life coaching by specializing in the Ds - or the personal barriers that negatively impact professional performance. In doing so, I prevent derailing and promote women being the best savvy & chic versions of themselves.
Having faced many of the Ds, I hit rock bottom. Then I minimized my barriers and maximized rock bottom as the firm foundation upon which I built not the rest of my life, but the best of my life. Now I coach others.
I also inspire women's career, home, image and life styles. My Pink Collar Portfolio allows me to use all of my God-given strengths to coach, encourage and inspire women working on the homefront or in the workplace to be smart at work, serene at home, to own their sense of style , to be balanced, and to live their best lives. Whether coaching, writing, speaking/training, doing image coaching, or designing a room, faith is the foundation and I strive to serve as a powerful change agent. To the glory of God.
Because you've ALWAYS been a Swan!
It’s Day 11 of being back to blogging and its recurring theme could have been “The Trouble with Triangulation x Three “. First, listening to my favorite Christian radio morning show hosts, Brandt and Sherry, on the commute in, Brandt asked her if she’d ever noticed two people arguing on social media and considered jumping in and telling them to stop having a go at each other. He went on to say that would break up the argument because they would both turn on her! Sherry laughed her infectious laugh and answered that she hadn’t intervened that way, however, she shared how she’d private messaged them and suggested they deal with the situation 1:1 vs. publicly. The segment ended humorously, but the message about the trouble with triangulation is a serious one.
Once at work, I encountered my second instance of triangulation when I spoke with someone who needed transportation. It was an unusually hectic day and while I didn’t mind taking the time to make the arrangements, it wasn’t time I had to spare. We agreed that they’d contact me when they were ready to be picked up. When I didn’t hear back from her, I learned that a third party had secured a ride for her! Neither she nor the woman I’d been trying to help thought to inform me that she no longer needed my assistance. This triangulation resulted in a waste of time and a breakdown in communication.
Finally, this evening I witnessed my fifteen-year-old daughter, Liv, get caught up in a triangulation web. One of her high school friends moved to another city but is still dating her boyfriend who’s in classes with my daughter. Apparently not only did the guy cheat on her several times while she was here, now he manages to prevent her from even talking to any boys at her new school while he flirts with whoever he likes in front of my daughter. In her attempt to be a good friend, my daughter put her in the know. Now she’s caught in the middle of their long distance dating disaster. I cautioned her to try to stay out of it because if and when her bestie takes him back, she won’t want to hear a word about his poor behavior, which will put a strain on their friendship. Triangulation collateral damage.
Knowing how God works in my life, the fact that God let me be a part of three different scenarios regarding triangulation means He’s trying to teach me something. Disputes, discussions, dating and so many other things are best handled 1:1. I’m going to try to put this principle into practice in my personal and professional life…And I hope you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic, do the same, and avoid the trouble with triangulation, too.
It’s Day 11 of being back to blogging, and a driving experience reminded me of the sometimes harsh reality of rosy expectations. Driving home from work, though I was in a bit of a rush to get home so I could change into Zumba attire for tonight’s class and try to get on top of preparation for tomorrow, I noticed a woman in a jeep waiting to turn out of a parking lot. Given the steady stream of traffic, I knew it may be a long time before she’d be able to make a right. Rather than speeding up and blocking her, I tapped the brakes and motioned for her to pull in front of me. The woman looked right at me and took advantage of the opportunity I provided without so much as a wave, let alone a horn honk. Not only that, she actually wore a bit of a frown. Translated audibly, it may have been a grunt… I admit her response gave me a dose of reality regarding my rosy expectations.
For a moment, I thought, Wow. You’re welcome. Then I realized the truth of the situation: I’d projected how I would have responded onto this woman and expected her to act likewise. Which wasn’t fair…Thankfully I got over myself very quickly, shook my head and just laughed. Now I think it’s humorous that in looking for an image to reflect my blog topic, I found this pretty pink piggy with a flower in her mouth! In no way am I calling the woman a pig; the saying just seemed to fit the scenario. That said, perhaps the woman is one of those entitled people who just take someone giving them a chance to turn when she could have been stuck there quite a while for granted…
Either way, the takeaway for us Pink Collar Savvy & Chic Swans on the home front or in the workplace is what I tell the residents in the women’s shelter where I’m the director. There’s no need to be concerned with the other driver, what she did or didn’t do or the reasons behind her behavior. All that’s necessary is doing and focusing on what we should or shouldn’t do and what motivates us to make those choices. When we do that, it’s easy to feel good about doing the right, considerate thing and putting someone else’s needs before our own to bless them. Whether that’s acknowledged or even recognized. The ultimate motivation? The One who never disappoints. He exceeds the highest standard each and every time and provides the only true reality regarding rosy expectations.
It’s Day 10 of being back to blogging and thanks to 13″ of snow here in Cincy, I’ve enjoyed a winter weather writing weekend! Since starting my position as a Women’s Center Director back in October, I hadn’t written a word of Hold on Her Heart, the sequel to my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul. Yesterday and today, however, due to being snowed in, I not only made wonderful progress, I did it on my first book’s one year anniversary! Being a God-thing girl, the significance of that isn’t lost on me. I’m humbled and amazed that He continues to bless me with the will and the way to live my purpose of coaching, encouraging and inspiring women. This time in the form of a winter weather writing weekend!
Balancing personal and professional responsibilities can feel daunting, but when they’re aligned, rather than conflicting, they can complement each other. In my situation, my first novel is drawn from personal experiences with domestic violence that led me to become involved in supporting other women to overcome it and other challenges. I call them Ds –– as in DV, divorce, dysfunction, depression, death, diagnosis, etc. (So much of life’s icky stuff starts with a D!) Twelve years after breaking out of the cycle of abuse with my wasband (he was my husband) and being homeless, my vocation is as the leader of a homeless shelter. And my avocation allows me to run a life coaching agency, blog and write books. It’s all interconnected and part of the perfect plan God has for my life. Total God-thing!
Whether you are an aspiring author or a full-time homemaker who wants to be more intentional about the time you spend with your family, my prayer is that you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic and maximize the opportunities God provides for you to do what feeds your soul and blesses others. On your lunch break. While the kids nap. In the still of the night. During the wee morning hours. When He provides a winter weather writing weekend.
Hope you’ll check out my book on it’s anniversary!
To preview/purchase the print or Kindle version of my debut novel, Seasons of Her Soul, please visit Amazon.com at
It’s Day 8/9 of being back to blogging and in yesterday morning’s work prayer meeting a wise organizational leader reminded us to keep calm and practice self-care. In social service/ministry, we often deal with trauma. And trauma is vicarious. It can transfer from those we serve onto us. If we’re not careful, it can infect us and make us physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually sick too. Keeping calm and practicing self-care is the key to preventing this in our work/ministry lives.
What I’ve found, however, is that those of us who are nurturers often find it a challenge to provide ourselves with the same level of care we generously lavish on others. This was evident in the meeting when those of us who were dealing with the death (a huge D or challenge!) of a young woman and mother kept voicing concern over how it impacted everyone else. But when the group circled up around the two of us who worked closely with her and knew her best –– both of us women –– the depth of our pent-up pain manifested itself in tears that once released refused to be staunched despite the box of tissue we wept through. So why were we selfish with ourselves about our need to grieve and weep? It’s only natural that the loss of someone we tried so hard to save is devastating. In fact, when Lazarus died before Jesus could arrive to save him, the Bible tells us, “Jesus wept.” – John 11:35 (NIV).
Becoming completely vested in someone else involves experiencing their triumphs and their tragedies. In that sense, exposure to trauma is an occupational hazard. But its vicarious effects can be mitigated by acknowledging the myriad emotions we experience through being a part of another human’s life when the outcome is not what we hoped it would be. Sometimes the work still results in a world of hurt. And when we’re hurting, it’s not only ok to give ourselves some TLC, it’s necessary because we can’t help others heal if we won’t do it for ourselves.
So if you’re anything like me and are at work on purpose to serve others –– on the home front or in the workplace –– and sometimes feel your world is spinning out of control, I hope you’ll be Pink Collar Savvy & Chic, keep calm and practice self-care.