It’s Day 352 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and our family spent it making some Memorial Day memories. Because we’re a big fat blended family ranging ages 5-63, getting everyone together, even for holidays, can be a challenge. Today, all but two who had to work were present, so after faith and a prayer remembering all who have given their lives in service, fun, fellowship, and a fuss free BBQ rib, brisket, pulled chicken and all the fixins feast, our youngest, Izzy, snapped this family photo (the one with her in it didn’t turn out great and didn’t make the cut…). Adding my oldest stepson’s in-laws into the Memorial Day mix is becoming a new tradition. His mother-in-law and I go back to my teaching days. Faith further connected us when she heard I’d been made homeless when my abusive marriage ended and she gifted me with dishwater and cutlery during my transition into a townhouse. Now we’re family. Sharing the meal and our children with her made for more special Memorial Day memories.
I lost my beloved father, a Marine who served in Vietnam, at thirty. At his funeral, after “Taps” played, his folded flag was placed in my arms. Though he didn’t lose his life in combat, his sacrifice was still great. All of my life, he slept under the kitchen table where he felt safe – like he was in a bunker. He’s been gone seventeen years but I still feel his loss like it was yesterday. My son, Levi, looks like him. A few months ago, I took him shopping at Goodwill and he selected a patriotic T-shirt to wear under his red fave red hoodie. Seeing he chose to wear that shirt today, and my father’s face looking back at me from that of my son’s, made for another magic memory. So did shopping for over two hours for a swim suit Liv could wear for another fun trip we have planned for tomorrow. I know, two hours is a lot! But at one point, her father’s now ex-wife had her wearing skimpy strings that substituted for bikinis. Now that she’s out of the picture, Liv seems to have returned to her more modest roots. Besides, though my hubby has never served in the military, both he and Levi were real troopers during the Great Swim Suit Expedition!
As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Swan, I’m all about minimizing barriers and maximizing beauty and best lives. Divided loyalties (a new D!), divorce, domestic relations issues, dysfunctional relationships, etc. could all make the holidays abysmal. Instead, I’m learning to embrace the family I do have and to make the most of our time together. Even so, I’m not gonna lie. At times we’re a mess. But what beautifully messy Memorial Day memories we make.
How about you? Are you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose about embracing your mess at home or work? With a little change of perspective, you may come to see it as beautiful, too.
Be savvy & chic,
~Pink Collar Coach