It’s Day 283 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project and after a productive work day, I spent this evening “Playing a Round with Love”. There’s a short story with this title by one of my all-time favorite authors, Rosamunde Pilcher, and though I read it the first time twenty years ago, its lesson is one I still apply today. In the story, a new young bride sits sulking at a resort because her groom has left her alone to play a round of golf. An older woman joins her and ends up sharing some sage wisdom about the benefits of couples having their own individual interests and pursuits. Then she demonstrates how she’s lived a long, healthy marriage doing just that when she lovingly greets her husband – who’s accompanied by the groom – when they come off the green. You see, he’d left her to go play as well – and she’d occupied herself with other things she enjoyed – as they’d been been doing their entire marriage. The couple had learned that their time apart made coming together that much sweeter. Tonight, I followed this example by going to the bookstore then heading over to join my hubby and company at an indoor virtual golf course. As much as I enjoyed the time alone, reuniting with him was even better. I’m grateful that Ms. Pilcher taught me about playing a round with love.
One of my husband’s friends, who does practically everything with his wife, once asked him how the two of us get along so well. My husband was and still is a consummate athlete, and I don’t enjoy sports at all. While he participates in and spectates at nearly every one, you’ll seldom find me doing either. The difference between that couple and us is that we’re more than O.K. not spending every waking hour together. When we are, we talk at a deep level and really connect, and we’re secure in each other’s love – whether we’re in the same space or not. I’m not being critical of the other couple – in fact I’m happy that they’re so symbiotic. I’m also happy that we don’t have to be. We’d both suffocate!
As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose wife and stepmom, I do believe it’s important for my husband and my stepsons to see that while golf, baseball, basketball, bowling, etc., etc. are not my thing, they are. Though it may not always be apparent, I love them fiercely…All of these men in my life say I’m as “fru fru” as it gets, so it’s fun to surprise them every once in a while by showing up in one of their “man” settings unexpectedly. And as much as the boys – especially the oldest – razzes me, he’s also the first to ask if his dad and I are alright if he senses we’re not. It’s good for them to see how much I adore him with a sacrificial love that makes me spend my night on a simulated golf course instead of curled up on the sofa with my new book. After all, thanks to all my reading, I may not be any good at golfing, but I’m pretty adept at “Playing a Round with Love”.
Are you Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose with your relationships – valuing time spent together and apart?
Be savvy & chic,
~Pink Collar Coach