Day 147 of the Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Project was one where my Ds showed up in droves. For those new to my blog or who haven’t read about them yet, I’ve categorized many of the challenges women deal with as Ds: debt, dependency, depression, diagnoses, disabilities, discrimination, divorce, domestic relations court issues, dysfunctional relationships, etc., etc., etc. You get the drift….And even though I’m defining my unique business niche – coaching professional women facing personal barriers to minimize them in order to maximize their beauty and best professional life, today was a day where I needed a bit of coaching myself!
In yesterday’s post I alluded to something I had to face today that caused me to be somewhat fearful. I won’t get into the details, but I’m in a few situations where the truth has become a stranger and the relationships have become toxic. Prior to my divorce from my wasband, D.J. (I always say he’s the worst of my Ds), this wouldn’t have presented a dilemma for me because I would have done whatever was necessary, including negating who I am, to reconcile the relationships. Post divorce? Well, I just refuse to do that anymore.
A few months ago, I read a book by Julie Cantrell, a Christian author, called Into the Free. The heroine, who was from a background similar to mine, resonated with me. Her grandmother was a Choctaw Indian and explained how a baby is named at birth and that is their given name. As they grow up and their personality develops, they are given a nickname that represents that. But it’s when a person discovers who God created them to be that they have their spirit name. The whole time I was reading, I thought the character, who’d grown up surrounded by lies, was actually Truth. And I wept when that did end up being not only her name but the name I felt the Holy Spirit whisper across my own heart.
That’s my dilemma. I know I’m Truth. Not a perfect woman, wife, mother, employee or person. But as much as it lies within me, I’m a truthful one. So when people want me to own things that aren’t true, everything within me rebels. This doesn’t always set too well with folks! The establishment, employers, even loved ones. So what does one do when the truth has become a stranger and others want you to deny it?
As a Pink Collar Savvy & Chic on Purpose Chick who’s had a full day of dealing with my Ds, I’m feeling a little down. I try to make my posts positive, but I want to avoid the danger of making my life sound idyllic. It’s not. I just have the Lord, loving family and friends. One of them took time out of her work day to pray for me – thank you for that! Besides, if it helps another woman, another swan out there who feels as if she’s alone in dealing with the dirt she’s been dished, then it’s worth it for me to wear my tattered heart on my sleeve. After all, if a problem shared is half solved, perhaps a D divested is half done…I hope so.
How do you handle situations where someone close to you, personally or professionally, is blatantly untruthful?
Be savvy & chic,
~Pink Collar Coach